How to teach your child to find and be a good friend

Author: Jessica Conars
Published: Dec 27 2013

The first thing you need to teach your child about the world of human relations is that people are driven mostly by their primitive instincts for survival. This is especially true when we talk about young children. At this stage, concepts like true friendship are lost in favor of who is the most popular child in school, or who is the toughest, meanest contender. So what are the things you have to teach your child in order for it to grow up knowing the difference between real friendships and necessary friendships. Let's have a look.

Phony friendships

Phony friendships are very important for a child (even a teenager!) to understand and master. Making friends with the popular kids; hanging in clicks for the sole purpose of belonging; wearing the same clothes, talking in the same manner. All of these are crucial if you don't want your child to be a social outcast and be miserable maybe for the rest of his/her life. Contrary to what most parents think (they have obviously forgotten their own youths), people should not be themselves, in a sense where they exhibit deviant social behavior.

Being yourself cannot lead to anything good when it contradicts the status-quo. People who pride as being 'themselves', often suffer as adults and inevitably become cynics and nay sayers. Teaching your child to imitate others is just like teaching your child social adaptation.

Such 'friendships' require no individual commitment; just commitment to the group – and that is what is important here. Preparing your child to conform with the common opinion is going to come in handy later, when he/she is working with a collective; have immediate supervisors etc.

Staying true to the pack is an inherit consequence of our animal origins. It is natural and it should not be viewed as an inferior form of human interaction. In fact most psychologists will tell you that staying with a group will build your child's self-confidence and create a sense of security and purpose.

Also learning various social skills' namely how to deal with people as a whole; how to be charming, charismatic etc. All necessary traits for every human being to have, every functioning human being that is.

Real Friendship

Your kid must know that there is a difference between pack mentality and individual friendships. The best way to show your child what a real friend is, is by being a friend in real life. Show your child what a true friend does, by being everything you want your child to be in that department. Honest; straight-forward and fun.

Teach your child that lying is acceptable if he/she is in a group, but such behavior has no place between two good friends. Also, teach your child about the responsibility of being a friend; of being honest and the truth about sharing his/her possessions with only their closest friends.

Helping others should be a central point in your presentation. But don't just help any random people; help those who are worthy of your help. And the most important part about real friendships are that they are exclusive. A person to be considered a close friend, one must have common interests with that person, and also be able to contribute something to the friendship.

Jessica's work place - http://www.sparklingcarpets.co.uk/carpet-cleaning-sw2-brixton/ inspires her to write positive and helpful articles. She works with friendly and happy people and that is what she loves about this cleaning company.

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