Author: LaGeris Underwood Bell
Published: Jan 14 2014
Dating and relationships are two of life’s many challenges. Like a carefully choreographed dance, you have to learn the steps before you can give a stellar performance. And even after you have rehearsed and practiced and rehearsed some more, you may still make mistakes, or miss a step or two. Dating a single mom is yet another challenge because not only do you have to win her heart, but you have to make an effort to have a positive relationship with her kids as well.
If you are over the age of 35 and dating, chances are you will date a single mom. In the United States, there are almost 14 million single parents and more than 80 percent of them are mothers. More than 40 percent of these moms were once in a committed relationship, meaning they are now divorced or separated, and on average, are over 40 years old. These moms are independent, gainfully employed, and managing all aspects of the household, including raising children. So how do you fit into that picture?
Typically, a single mom is looking for a relationship, not just a casual fling. She wants someone who takes an interest in her and her family. She can do it all herself, but feels that it would be much more rewarding to have a partner with whom she can share the joys and trials of life.
How can you build a positive relationship with the single mom in your life? Remember that she is a mother first. You may want all her attention and time, but she has to take care of her kids, first and foremost. Be understanding and helpful.
Say, for example, you have tickets to a concert on Friday night. The two of you have plans to go, but at the last minute, her third-grader is sent home from school because she is sick. Being the devoted mom that she is, she unfortunately has to cancel plans with you, because she will not leave her sick child with a babysitter.
Although these are disappointing circumstances for both of you, let her know you understand her predicament and respect her decision to take care of her little one. Perhaps you can offer to give the tickets to your buddy and come over to her house with chicken soup and a good movie for all of you to watch together. This is a selfless act and the single mom in your life will certainly appreciate it and recognize your compassion for her and her child.
Another way to build a healthy relationship with a single mom is to get to know her kids. Play with them! Find out their interests and what kinds of toys or games they might enjoy. For a very young child, make them a gift of a babies bouncer seat and read to him while he's in it.
For older ones, kick a soccer ball around the yard with her son or daughter while their mom is preparing dinner for all of you. Get down on the floor and play a board game. Slouch on the sofa and play their favorite video game.
Ultimately, when you want to build a positive relationship with a single mother whom you adore, show her and her kids that you like to have fun with all of them. The kids will respect you for giving them some undivided attention, and so will their mother, in more ways than you realize.
Writer LaGeris Underwood Bell hopes this article will resonate with the suitors of devoted, hard-working single moms who deserve a little TLC.
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ell-r-brown/5232403338/
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