Choose mediated divorce for peace of mind

Author: David Jones
Published: Jun 26 2014

When a couple decides to dissolve the marriage, they face two alternates.

The first one is the long drawn out legal battle that saps both money and time out of the couple. The result is still dissolution of marriage but the collateral damage is huge enough to scar both the spouses and any children involved for life. The damage, in some cases, is so much that people have difficulties resuming their lives afterwards.

The second way is to get a mediated divorce. This rising trend has attracted a lot of attention these days. In a majority of divorce cases, the couples just wish to dissolve the marriage with as little bad blood as possible. Mediated divorce offers this chance of peaceful termination of the marriage without the long court appearances and payouts to lawyers.

What is DIY Divorce?

Many people confuse a mediated divorce with a DIY divorce. Although both concepts are very similar and many of the clauses overlap to some extent, there is fundamental difference between the two ideas.

A DIY divorce is an option when there are no differences between the spouses. It is the best option when the spouses agree on all major and minor issues that are raised by either party. For this to happen, the couple must have complete information about their joint assets and liabilities. If there are any complications involves, it is best to avoid DIY option. In such cases, it is often best to initiate divorce proceedings as contested divorce. This way, the burden of division of assets and liabilities would be on the court and the couple could save themselves a lot of headache.

In addition to money matters, DIY divorce also takes into account any issues involving children. If the couple is in agreement with custody and visitation rights, DIY divorce could go through without a hitch. If the court detects any issues with child custody or shared parenting time, the motion of DIY divorce could be dismissed.

A very small number of couples part on such amicable terms. In fact, even when there is nothing else wrong with the marriage, there is always conflict about money or childcare. These two issues have long been identified as the major hurdles to a smooth divorce process. A majority of the cases that go to contested divorce stage are simply there because the couple will not agree on how to split their money or who will pay for child support.

How mediated divorce could help?

When there are no major differences of options between the spouses or just a couple of minor issues, it is not advisable to go for a contested divorce. The reason is quite simple. Since there is no major falling out, things could be resolved by discussing the issues and finding a solution that is agreeable to both parties. This is the main idea behind a mediated divorce.

The process brings in a neutral third party in the form of a mediator. A mediator is a qualified person who takes an unattached and unbiased view of the situation. This is important as emotions and attachments have already clouded the judgments of the spouses. Instead of thinking straight, many people in a divorce situation let their emotions get the better of them. Hence, instead of solving things rationally, the people try to solve things emotionally and thus reach nowhere. When this happens, small issues could appear huge irreconcilable mountains of disagreement. This is the beginning of a vicious cycle where these disagreements fuel the emotions and things get out of hand quickly.

A mediator is a neutral third party that makes the spouses see the folly of the situation and starts the negotiation process. Once the process starts, it becomes easy for the couple to come up with solutions to their problems. Since there are only minor issues, the couple, under the guidance of the mediator, could come up with a workable way of solving the matter.

A good thing about the mediation is that the agreements reached during the sessions have a long life. This makes the life after the divorce very easy for the now ex-spouses. Couples looking for a divorce should consider mediated divorce as a strong alternate to going to the court.

Bio: This is a Guest Post by David Jones; a web content writer, and guest blogger, who offers content writing services to divorce and family law niches.

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