Abusive relationships

Author: Jackie Tasker
Published: Apr 1 2008

An abusive relationship is one where there is a real, or imagined, threat of injury. This isn?t just physical harm, it also relates to mental and sexual abuse where the injuries may be harder to see, but are just as damaging.

Domestic Violence

Government statistics estimate that domestic violence:

? Claims the lives of 2 women each week;
? Kills more women worldwide than war, cancer, or motor accidents
? Will affect 1 in 4 women, and 1 in 6 men, in their lifetime.

If you are at risk of violence or abuse in your home, please do not suffer alone.

www.womensaid.org.uk offers practical help, including a 24 hour helpline.

The Freedom Programme offers a FREE 12 week rolling programme for any woman wishing to learn more about the reality of domestic violence and abuse. The programmes run countrywide, and details can be found at: www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Signs to Look Out For

Domestic abuse does not just happen once.

The abusive partner will establish a pattern of behaviour in order to gain control within the relationship.

Their behaviour may take different forms at different times, but it has the ultimate objective of keeping the Victim in a powerless position, and so retaining ALL the power to themselves.

Here are some of the behaviours you may see:

? Telling you it was your own fault, you made them do it;
? Belittling you and calling you names, both in private and in front of other people;
? Not listening to, or ignoring, your needs;
? Sulking, or completely ignoring you;
? Lying to you, or having affairs;
? Controlling all the money, so you don?t have independence;
? Controlling your movements ? not allowing you to see friends or family;
? Extreme jealousy ? checking your phone, not allowing you to talk to/ look at any other men, accusing you of having affairs;
? Intimidating you e.g. standing over you and shouting in your face;
? Verbally threatening you with violence e.g. ?If you don?t do X I will punch you in the face?;
? Physically threatening you with violence e.g. smashing up the house, holding a knife to you;
? Actually hurting you: smacks, slaps, punches, kicks, biting etc;
? Forcing you into sexual acts when you don?t want to;
? Threatening the children;
? Threatening suicide;
? Saying it was just a one off, and it will never happen again.

Domestic abuse is a vicious circle that is very difficult to break alone. If you feel you?re in an abusive relationship then please do seek out the help of family, or friends, or more specialised help through the links above.

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