STEPHON - May 1 2017 at 17:51
Im currently married and we are having some troubled times right now. My wife was recently divorced. It seems like we are fighting against each other and not really giving each other a fair chance in our marriage. This is our second marriage she was divorced and im a widower. What advice is there to help us get over this hump right now.
It sounds like you need to stop and calculate why and what it is that causes to you to be working against each other. for instance, is there common theme to what makes you argue? It's not uncommon in relationships to get to a point where at times it feels like you are swimming against the tide a little bit.
As you have said you have both come into this relationship from different experiences with previous marriages. If our wife had a particularly difficult divorce then she may be a little more cautious or defensive in order to prevent herself from getting hurt or having to go through it all over again.
Equally, you may find it difficult to adapt to a new marriage different from the one with your late wife. As much as we try not to, sometimes we do subconsciously compare.
What you need to do is sit down together and talk through exactly how you feel but equally why you feel you want to work through this tough time. My grandmother gave me two tips for a happy marriage which were as follows: never go to bed on an unresolved argument, and understand both perspectives of a situation.
I hope this helps!