As you have said you have both come into this relationship from different experiences with previous marriages. If our wife had a particularly difficult divorce then she may be a little more cautious or defensive in order to prevent herself from getting hurt or having to go through it all over again.
Equally, you may find it difficult to adapt to a new marriage different from the one with your late wife. As much as we try not to, sometimes we do subconsciously compare.
What you need to do is sit down together and talk through exactly how you feel but equally why you feel you want to work through this tough time. My grandmother gave me two tips for a happy marriage which were as follows: never go to bed on an unresolved argument, and understand both perspectives of a situation.
I hope this helps!
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