Is it adultery if we are in the middle of our divorce?
My spouse filed for divorce in November in Texas. Our divorce will probably go on for another 6 months.
I found out my spouse is already relations with another guy since January (ex: dinner, trips to the coast, staying at his house, etc..)
Under Texas law, does this constitute adultery? Do I have a case or an angle to purse a counter law suite of infidelity?
Respectfully, divorce is never easy regardless of the circumstances. If your spouse has starting seeing another guy while your divorce is still proceeding then it's basically an issue for them to deal with, both morally and legally. You need to heal so that you can move on with your life and instigating other proceedings which make your issue more difficult to cope with will only hinder your well being and recovery and also the divorce process. Regarding the legal side of your issue, you need to seek advice from your divorce lawyer.
In my opinion, if things are over already, it's really not worth getting angry over. If it breaks some sort of state law and you want to pursue it, alright. But I would just let it be. You know, if you want to see someone else then you should, too. You want to end the marriage as quickly and neatly as possible, and not prolong the connection you have to this person. Otherwise, you will likely have to see them around for even longer, fighting over your spouse's infidelity when, technically, you guys aren't even a couple any longer.
You should really ask your lawyer about unique state laws governing divorce.
Most states are now No Fault divorce, that is, when one want a divorce it's because the marriage has fallen apart (broken down.)
What good would it do to try to prove anything about infidelity at this point? It sounds like the marriage has indeed broken down, but it does not sound like you have accepted it.
It sounds more like you want to get back at your spouse.
Seek counseling to get past the hurt and anger.
Thanks for the replies. I am working with my attorney, but always looking for different ways to educate myself. As well as using People Problems as a good sounding board. Here's a bit more detail ...
I realize our relationship is over. I would like for our divorce to be done yesterday; however, there is a large sum of money at stake. She is claiming $4M as inheritance and oil royalties (received after marriage), which would only leave me with $250k.
I likely don't have much of a chance unless we can prove there was co-mingling. Morally, if it was my decision to leave and pursue a new life, I could not do this. But apparently she can. You think you would know someone after 25 years of marriage, 2 kids, and working my ass off. I was totally blind-sided, which she admits, and she admits I was a good husband and a good father. Basically, she is wanting to live the Playboy (Playgirl) lifestyle, which seems to be derived from a mid-life crisis.
So I am fine with her wanting to pursue this; however it is at my expense. The $4M was ALWAYS considered our nest-egg. And now she is taking all the marbles and walking away. I have tried to reason with her, but she lawyered-up, and now we are in the midst of financial discovery.
I am doing everything I can to ensure I get more than 6% in order to maintain my standard of living that I have come to know for the past 25 years. Less than one year ago, I was looking at retiring by 60. Now I'm likely working until I'm 75, and security of a nest-egg is no longer. The loss of financial security affects my creativity, and confidence at work, which places more stress on me.
So I am working the divorce to get a more favorable decision for me. I believe the Infidelity won't sway too much, but it may be all I have.
Thanks for reading this.