Confused and indecisive
Hi, I am a ninth grade schoolgirl and I have a problem. It all started when I met this girl (she's in the eighth grade, but we're the same age) two-ish years ago and we are really close. I started to develop a romantic interest in her and asked her one day whether she had a crush on anyone and she said that she liked a guy from her year group and I immediately was confused and upset.
I told people about it and they told me to get over it, after all, my feelings for her were still developing. I got over it after a few weeks. Just recently, I told her friends about the situation and what I should do; they replied saying that she actually likes me, not that guy (it apparently was a coverup.) I asked her and her best friend about it and she said that it was true; it was a coverup and that she was actually in love with me. I was really shocked because the reason she lied to me was because she thought it was one-sided, however, I forgave her and we are on good terms.
Even though my romantic interest dropped it still didn't mean that I had no feelings for her at all so, I'm trying to fall in love with her again because I just know it's possible. For me, it takes about 3 years to fully confirm my feelings and she understands. Right now we started to be a relationship and she fully supports and loves me and so do I too. And I want to know whether I have made the right decision or not and what I should do now!
Thanks for reading!
Your problem started with your initial question. "Do you have a crush on anyone?" That was a loaded question. You put her on the spot, sort of demanding she reveal her feelings for you where you weren't obligated to reciprocate. That's not good. It doesn't matter whether this girl had a crush or not. If you have a romantic interest in the lady then it is up to you to share your feelings. Then, a lady could respond accordingly. Any person is allowed to have a crush on more than one person anyway.
What you should do now is really nothing. The challenge is over. You should work on the relationship.
If you have to "force" yourself to have feelings for another person, then it's not going to work.
Perhaps you overthink things.
Just relax and enjoy the experience. Don't put pressure on other people or yourself.