So my OH and I have been together 3 years. Start of our relationship my MIL had little to do with us.
My OH had demons of his own which we worked through with the help of my family. My MIL had no involvement whatsoever.
We had my LO last year and then moved to the same area as my MIL.
I have suffered with PND which was made worse by alcohol which I've since cut back on. However, my MIL is now aware of all the problems we've had and has said some pretty nasty things about me. His sisters are both judgemental too.
They all pretend to understand but in reality they've asked OH to leave me. Now my MIL keeps contacting me and wanting to See Me but I have no time for the woman.
She wasn't there for my OH when he needed her support and I feel like she is using my issues to make her look like a hero.
I'm pretty good at sussing people out and I can't stand talking to people who I know think very little of me.
My question is, how do I manage this? I have little respect for the woman who stayed with my OH's abusive father for way longer than she should have, and she also kicked my OH out following a row with her partner. I feel it's a strong case of those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
I just find them so self righteous and false, is there any way past this? She rarely looks after my LO and has very little involvement in our life...until we have an argument at which point she tries to persuade both of us to end things.
My dislike towards the woman is slowly turning into hate. I find her manipulative, narrow minded and just a total hypocrite. Any advice is much appreciated as this is really getting in between my relationship.
Tell them off first, call them out on your MIL action. Or if not then just ask your husband to talk with her to sort this out. Another thing you can do is to just ignore her as much as possible or cut contact with her (last resort). But really, she sounds toxic, I won't want to deal with anyone like her. Just ignore her if possible and if she start saying some stuff about you, call her out on her own actions, however, I do think that you should talk with your husband first before handling your MIL. Also ask if he's okay with you calling her out on her actions. Cutting her out of your life is a last resort since you are in the same area as her and honestly it should be decided by your husband, whether he think he should cut her off from both of your life or not. You can also just ignore her as much as possible and only see her once in awhile but leave as soon as possible. Ignore what they think or say of you, its not like what they say can affect your overall reputation. They may think that way but other people you know may think otherwise of you. Its a waste of time and energy to be bothered by these kind of people. You just do what you do, and prove them otherwise; try not to throw your anger or unhappiness at them because it would make them feel that they were right about what they think of you. Just be as calm as possible and handle the situation amicably.
Hear-hear (nice one yet again, Teddy). Or there's always family mediation?