Issue with my male roommate
My roommate and i moved in together a few months ago. Hes a great guy, knows how to have fun and hes so nice. Ive had a small crush on him for a minute... The problem is hes reserved and vague and never gives you a proper answer to anything...
One night we were playing craps with the neighbor who is a bisexual man in a relationship. We finished a bottle of whisky and various truths came out which resulted in a threesome. My roommate waa not comfortable with the guys advance, i wasnt comfortable either. I feel like the neighbor took advantage of our impaired judgement.
Since then this guy keeps coming over and making himself at home and trying to force some kind of bisexual relationship on us. This guy has his own place and boyfriend and i wish he would just stop and leave us alone because if things go around on what happened, drama will ensue.
Everytime he comes by hes obsessive over my roommate, he tries to force him to kiss him, and he wvwn tried to drag him to one of the rooms when he was passed out drunk. The guy is very forceful and pushy. He wants a relationship with my roommate and wants me in it for the sexual stuff. I am not comfortable with it nor is my roommate because my roommate has resisted his moves several times.
My roommate continues to let him come around because we are struggling with money and the guy does buy stuff but i told him how i felt about it and my roommate told me he wants to get a few more things before telling him to fuck off.
Im annoyed and upset because when i told my roommate what i felt about him i meant it...
But he never gave me a closure or told me how he felt in return. All he did the next day was ask me how i felt about him and why i havent asked him out yet and when i told him the truth all he said was i second guess myself too much...
So neighbor kept coming by and hanging all over him so i pulled my roommate aside and asked if i could have a guy over in a few weeks- if he wants to be like that, then im going to do me.
So he got an attitude and told me he didnt care but he had to bring a girl with him to come over or it was no deal and as a retaliation he invited a girl over and cuddled with her on my bed in front of me, acted like he really liked her and when she left all he said was... "Shes okay..."
Obviously my roommate has a tendency to be a mindfuck... Im going to eventually have to lay all this out on the table and talk to him so how would i do this?
I'm Nick Glad you asked for advice. When going about laying things on the table or having a conversation like this you need to make sure your roommate doesn't feel like they are being attacked or judged. You need to be very open in honest but in a manner so they don't feel like you yourself are against them. At the end of the day your neighbor needs to be cut clean off despite what he does for you. Both you and your roommates actions are done to spite each other because you are angry. Have a simple civilized talk where you set the tone with honesty. Tell him how you feel but let him know before hand whats going on so you don't blindside him.
Hope that helped some- Nick