Should I end this relationship?
JINDAHOUSE - Jun 3 2017 at 01:00
I have been dating a female for about 8 months, this is after I finally physically separated from my ex wife - I have dated off and on for years even while being married and living in the same house as my ex - we lived in the same house for financial reasons and were comfortable with each other dating that time. So I finally moved out a year ago and wanted to have some time to myself, get to know myself, have fun and be free. I reconnected with my girlfriend and we've been together for 8 months but I'm feeling like I want to go out and explore more, date other people, etc. This is a fairly casual relationship but it's exclusive. I feel like it has run its course. We scheduled a week long trip next month combined with our kids - I feel like if we go through with the trip it will cement our relationship into the future and I don't think I want that to happen. I just want to get some feedback and not make an irrational decision
If you don't have the need to be with your GF and and your gut tells you that you can't do a serious relationship with her, then tell her and move on. It's no sin wanting and needing to live life the way you have to, but it's a deadly sin to drag another person's heart around when yours is elsewhere. If you need to be single and need to meet others, then do so and don't ever look back.
But... haven't you just formed this decision via a supposedly rational argument all laid out?
No, you're right, actually - it wasn't rational. After all, joint holiday with both sets of kids isn't casual. Neither is Exclusive casual. Nor eight months, including featuring the decision to meet and mix kids. Neither is saying, I wanted to go to SingleVille so immediately took a taxi to NotSingleVille.
HAVE you, unwittingly or otherwise, used her or are you panicking because of recognising you're about to go through over a threshold to Seriousville (which is where you got chewed up and spat out last time)?
We get this a lot on here. Panicking, I mean. Well...and using.
So - Unwitting User (using her as a post-shock comfort blankie) or "Eek, don't put me in the lion's den again so soon!" - which?