I have been married for over ten years and each and every year our marriage and friendship grows apart. I want to save my marriage as I love my wife so dearly but I am afraid our troubles are all my fault and it may be too late to fix. Looking back now I realize that my relationship with my parents caused great strife in my marriage. It started with small things, like the first time I brought my then girlfriend to meet my father. The entire time I basically ignored my wife for other company in the room. Over the years situations would come about and I would subconsciously take the side of my parents and never stand up for my wife and sometimes kids. I knew from the beginning my parents did not take to her and our marriage for various reasons. They were subtle but certainly did not support our lives and they made no move to get to know her. Over the years I knew the only way to solve the problem was to cut my parents but I could never come to terms to fully eliminate them from our equation. I do not know what is wrong with me. My wife has tried to tell me over the years but I just simply hoped that things would work out. I am not a confrontational person, especially around my parents. Being an only child, I guess deep down there is a problem that I could not fix. Most of the time I would blame my wife and tell her she is being emotional and irrational. That just made things worse. I never truly listened and for that I am eternal grateful. She is only staying with me know because of the children. I would love nothing more than to be the man she married. Thank you for any advice.
I'm so sorry you are facing challenges in your marriage. It's great that you desire to work to heal the wounds of the past and put your marriage on a new and stronger footing. You are to be commended for realizing the mistake from you end. As you know, rebuilding relationship takes time, as well as great deal of determination and commitment. Though the task may seem overwhelming at times, there’s a great deal of hope for this journey. You are going to need the Lord’s help, comfort, and guidance all along the way. I wonder if you have seen a marriage counselor or therapist? If not, they are in the best position to offer assistance. In the meantime, you might like to check out the books, Love Must Be Tough( http://bit.ly/2coBuDS)
and Boundaries in Marriage: http://bit.ly/2f2PCGB.
Praying for you and your family.
This sounds a lot like my situation, my husband is an only child too and seems to always side with his mom. She now lives with us (87 yrs old) since his father passed away and now I feel like this is no longer my home. (We've been married almost 7 yrs) We have a 6 year old son together (his only child), he does nothing with our son on his own. He doesn't participate in things or help around the house unless I ask for it. (I also have 17yr old daughter and an 18yr old daughter from a previous marriage that he doesn't want anything to do with if he can help it, they live with their dad close by) Often I feel like me and my son should just walk away. My husband has a good job and I like where we live, I just feel our relationship is empty. I really commend you on wanting to try and save your marriage and seeing where the problems are in your marriage and taking responsibility for it. I wish my husband would make an effort like that. Best of luck to you.