Need help please. I'm so depressed. I don't know what to do
I was an achiever on high school. Then on college, I was an engineering student and I have this feeling where I want to vomit when there's too many people. Plus, my hands are shaking during exams or classes. This just happened on my 3rd year. I study at a college where there's too much pressure and away from my family. I failed on a subject, had the chance to retake it, and failed again. This made me so depressed that I had suicidal thoughts or feeling a failure to my parents. (By the way I am a solo child.) I feel so shy at other people expecting at my abilities. I am afraid to face people. My parents knew about this. They said they will support me on the decision I will make. My decision there was to shift another course. A course that I like the most, not engineering. But, my professor came into my house and did not permit me to do it even though my parents supported me. Because he said, he believed in me. So, I enrolled for my 4th year, and on the first day of class, I felt like vomiting again due to new faces in the room, hands started to shake, went to a window to breathe some fresh air, and didn't have anymore the concentration to listen to the lesson. My mother knew about this and said she wouldn't take risks anymore. She decided to drop me out of college and just adviced me to go home. She worried a lot on my health, and I'm worried too may be because she'll get too nervous thinking about me. Now, I am thinking. What will be my future if I am a college dropout? My mother is just concerned about my health. She's willing to sacrifice my education for this. She's too worried that what I felt will be much more difficult to handle or I'll get crazy thinking over about it. I just obeyed her because I don't want her to stress over about it. But, I felt sad again because I will leave my friends here. They cried because they said I will be greatly missed. But I can't do anything. Also this is for my own good. And also, my mind and body can't take anymore problems to continue to school. My only solution is to suicide or follow my Mother and find peace. I choose the latter. But what will be my future if I am a college drop-out? I also find ways to manage those shaking hands, vomiting like scenarios but it doesn't seem effective because it kept coming back. I really don't know what to do. May you please lead some advice for me? please don't judge me. I am still depressed and need someone to talk to. A person who experienced depression too and had suicidal thoughts. Or if not, maybe please. I NEED YOUR HELP. help me find peace in my mind. This has been struglling with me for the past 4 months. Please. Thank you.
Relax and calm down
, You are not a failure, You have what it takes to succeed in life, Suicide is not an option, you have a family that cares about you, Believe in yourself, Love yourself, When depression hits don't be alone, surround yourself by people who care about you, Who want the best for you. Do you what triggers the depression and aniexty
Thanks a lot Sir. Should I continue my studies or listen to my Mother?
What would happen if I become a college dropout?
Follow what your heart says to do, I know it's tough to do but you can do it. How are you doing emotionally with everything that is going on? You are not defined by this! What causes you to get sick? Brighter days are ahead for you, You can and will be successful. What do you want to do, continue with your studies or follow what your mother says?
Thanks for sharing. I think there may be other options than just suicide or dropping out of college but I need to you to first promise to participate in a safe plan during this struggle. I share this with anyone who has suicide ideations.
First, allow yourself to think of suicide but do not act on it. Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Second, have a support system in place that will be responsible to disable any plan that includes a method and time table. Your pain may not allow you to do this on your own. This support system can be family, friends or sources you trust, who are not judgmental, and have been asked by you to be part of your support system. One of these connections can and should be National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK of 8255. You can also use the National Hope line Network at 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-784-2433. Third, promise not to use alcohol or drugs during the intensity of your thoughts. Fourth, have health resources to follow up with after any plan is disabled and desperation has subsided. This can be your physician or a therapist. Put this plan in effect now, please!
Assuming you have followed through on a safe plan. Let’s address your pain and depression. Stress, whether self applied, from others, or just situational, can be debilitating but can be diffused. This takes courage and wisdom to enlist the support of others. Thanks again, for sharing.
Have you considered these sudden emotional and behavioral changes you are experiencing to potentially be a medical issue? There is a difference between situational depression and clinical depression. Clinical depression is biological and may need medication as prescribed by a physician after a complete evaluation.
Perhaps another option is to take a leave of absence from your education. This will give you time to evaluate the cause of stress while being removed from it, but only temporarily. You can also reevaluate your course of study. This may be a compliment to engineering but more suitable to your passions. Many compatible courses exist.
My final thought is college dropouts are not failures. There are many careers that do not demand a college degree and are of incredible, mind blowing importance. Usually what creates the most passion and excitement in your life is your calling. How you get there is this exhilarating and yes, stressful thing called life.
Please keep us informed on your choices and allow us to support and monitor the progress.