The wedding of people pleasing
so here is a little backstory to my issue. I am currently 25 years old and since I was 17 years old my brother had been dating then got engaged and had a child with someone who grew to be my best friend. Over the course of the last year, they had broken up and both moved on.
He is now engaged to be married just like myself. At first he was okay with our friendship but over time he grew to hate it and felt like since they were done that I needed to just drop her. Beinf that she has been there for me since forever I simply could not just drop her like she meant nothing. He stopped talking to me for the past year and we recently got together to try and mend this before both of our weddings.
He expressed to me that neither him or his fiancé would attend any event she was in or at even though they get along and co parent my niece in a civil way. She's my bestfriend and I can't picture getting married without her but same goes for my brother. He is making me choose between the two of them and it has made me sick. I dont even know how to handle this situation anymore.
Yep, invite who you need to invite to your wedding and then let them choose to attend or decline your invitation. It's your day and nobody should dictate to you who you invite or, most importantly, who you have in your life. Your brother could be being pressured by others to force his opinion on you but rest assured, he has no right to do so, nor can he expect to blackmail you. He needs to realize that he met, married and broke up from the woman who became your best friend, and you didn't.
You need to tell him that life's too short for grudges and that his issues with his ex are his to sort. He can't expect to rely on you to help him feel comfortable with her. At the age of 25, you are more than capable of making decisions for yourself and he needs to accept that.
you can invite anyone you want to your wedding!!