Drunk cheated with my roomate
So my coworker and I decided to get an apartment together. Both of us are of opposite sex so people were sceptical but we were sure nothing would happen between us. We were both in happy relationships. We made is a whole month without anything happening.
However, a few days ago he came home after a bad day at work and we decided to drink. So I drank with him. Few shots later, we're both pretty drunk and end up falling off the couch and I land on top of him, and things just escalated from there. We ended up sleeping together that night and both agreed to tell our significant others what happened the day after.
I could only work up the guts to tell mine that we had just kissed. He freaked out and currently we aren't together and he's out of town to clear his head. And He told his girlfriend everything, explicitly. She is also a coworker of mine, and very understandibly, she is completely insanely upset. To the point where we can't even work together without her eyes piercing daggers into me and the occasional yelling at me while I shamefully take it.
Later it's discovered we had minor mutual feelings for one another at some point, but we both never thought we'd ever act on them. He told her this, and so I'm pretty sure she'd never trust me again. We were good friends, and she was nothing but good to me and I regret ever hurting her or my boyfriend like this.
I need help. I don't know if this is something I can repair or if I should give up and break the lease and move out. (sidenote: I'm very broke and this is not the best option financially for me.) I want things to be like they were before all this happened. But I don't know if that's ever possible. I feel like a traitor. And I haven't been able to eat or sleep the last few days and I'm completely clueless. I don't have friends to go to, they all left me in all this.
All I want is to fix this. I just need advice.
This is complicated, I'm not going to sugar coat it. But I'm not going to judge either. You're all grown ups and people make mistakes.
Sadly, things won't ever be the same as they were before and that's a consequence that you have to acknowledge at this point.
About your BF, I think it would be wise to tell him everything, nevertheless that will make you look like a liar to him. So, think about it.
On the other hand, this is giving you a chance to evaluate the depth and strength of your relationship. Take some time now and think about it. Think about why this happened.
Being drunk just removes the restraints that morality normally put on us, so that was meant to happen sooner or later. Alcohol only added some speed to it.
Living together is what family do. If you're not blood-related, it's very hard to not "slowly fall in love" with each other. You're there to support each other, to talk about your problems, to share happiness. It's natural that it happened.
Sadly, both of you ignored the signs and tried to look away assuming it wouldn't catch you up.
Learn from this and be honest with yourself and others.
About moving out, I would be more worried about your sanity than your finances at this time. So, if it's a way to feel better, go ahead and do it.
I hope this helps.
Throw in any questions you may have!