I've always wanted 1 man to ultimately marry. After the 2nd year I learned of bf lying including his finances. Turns out he has no savings and didn't earn much. I have a great job, nice home and good amount of savings but need to take care of myself and my 2 children.
He is 65 and I'm almost 60. There is great passion despite the turmoil.
After learning of his lies I broke up with him a few times but somehow we reconciled. During the breakups I met another man who is wonderful, financially stable and loving but there nearly as much of passion.
Recently he lost his job but is applying for another he expects to get however, it pays very modestly.
He has no assets because he lost his business over 10 years and was convicted of check kiting.
I know I need someone who is financially responsible and settled and my prior bf now says he will get a job and then wants to marry me quickly and move in my house. I know he really loves me and wants to spend his life with me but I'm so scared he will be a financial responsibility and that would tear me apart.
Should I finally break it off? I can't go on this way...I feel like I'm losing my mind!
Let's split this into 3 sections:
The most important person here is you. You don't need a man by your side to be OK and be happy. It's always to have somebody to talk to and somebody to cuddle with, I agree. But you got to be with someone because you "want to", not because you "need to"
I totally get that you required support and help after your loss. I understand your gratitude towards your BF for giving you hand there, but you have to know that you don't owe him anything. So, if a relationship is making you suffer, it's time to make a review and see if the balance is positive or not. The decision, at the end of the day, is always yours. Just think about yourself, your health and your sanity.
3.- New Guy
There's not much info about him, but you should consider taking any steps carefully and taking what he says with a grain of salt. What you have to find out is if he's reliable and if there's genuine interest in you.
So, I would recommend to take your time. Take off for a few days, go somewhere by yourself, enjoy time for you. Give yourself a couple gifts and feel blessed for who you are and where you stand. You're a wonderful woman and you will always have your children to share great times and give and receive enormous amounts of love.
Once you're shining by your own means, you'll become a beacon that attracts that somebody that will want to share time with you in the same way you want to share it.
I hope this helps.
I'll be around on a regular basis to try to keep the conversation alive and help you as much as I can.
You are unsure and confused so I don't think I would be doing anything quickly if it were me and you know life is short, ask yourself would you be happy being with either of these men because I think you know what you want already but perhaps a bit apprehensive to follow your instinct.
best of luck whatever you decide
Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?