My girlfriends sleeps with other people for money
LORDACES - Jul 21 2017 at 20:42
I'm 21 and my girlfriend is 19, we've been dating for half a year now and I've slowly found out that she usually sleeps with some other men for money. Don't get me wrong we strongly have feeling for each other but she's always running into financial issues because of her drug addiction (greens). I have only just graduated from University and I'm in no position to always help her out when she needs money but I try to whenever I can. I recently told her I know about what she's doing and she assures me she's honestly only doing it because she's struggling financially. I just hate that I'm trying to make life plans and decisions to help us both but when she does this to me, I wonder why I'm trying so hard regardless of us still having real feelings for each other. I guess her drugs come first before me. This is my first serious relationship and I hate that this is happening. Having no previous experience, I don't know how to go about it and would need advice from you guys.
Well firstly, you should not be making life plans with someone you have been dating for a couple months. Secondly, sleeping around for money means she is putting herself and you at risk to various diseases. And if she is doing it for recreational drug then you should not be supporting her habit. Thats a habit yo both cant afford and it will only get costlier the longer it goes on. I wont tell you what to do but try to have some foresight and ask yourself if she is really worth all the current and potential stress and strain. If you care for her as you say, get professional help for her because at her age things will only get worse. Hope this helps. Just be delicate about how you approach helping her.
It's not your responsibility to help your GF stay in greens while she sleeps with others to fund the same habit. You're on a hiding to nothing when it comes to making life plans for both of you because, at the moment, she doesn't have any because she doesn't have a choice. You're the only one doing the 'hard yards' for both of you.
You're more than correct, her habit comes before you. She needs to do it all by herself to get clean while you can choose to stand on the sidelines and watch it to support her but you're only enabling her if you contribute cash up front when she needs it. In other words, your actions are only delaying the inevitable. You either get tough on yourself to achieve two things and that's get tough with her or you walk away. Easy to say and damn hard to do, particularly when it's your first serious relationship.
Do yourself a favour and talk to a counselor, face to face if you can, who deals with people trying to live with or make a life with an addict.