T - Jul 25 2017 at 17:06
My (ex) partner had made the decision to end our 4 year relationship. Telling me she no longer loves me in the way she did. This was very sudden, with no signs to tell me. We were laughing, joking, said love you each night. Planned nights out. We have a young child together.
I have done grovelling and asked questions, no arguements had taken place. I moved out.
We had our arguements in the past that all relationships have, some worse than others but we always got through it together. The last big argument we had was all my own doing, she ended things. I fought for her and she took me back even against her families wishes not to.
I love her dearly and cant go a day without thinking of her, finding any excuse to speak to her.
Am hoping and praying that time apart, giving her the space she needs will make us see that its each other we want.
Will we be together again or am I hanging on to a hopeless rope?
Your post tells us that your relationship is in the hands of your ex partner and all you can do is wait without doing your head in. Nobody can answer your question of whether she will return to you. She will come back if and when she has the need and the will to, otherwise she won't. It doesn't matter what you do, you can only wait and give her space as you suggest in your post.
You guys have a young child and counseling together may be the way to go, but you both need to have the need for each other to have any chance of repairing your relationship, regardless of what her family wishes.
I appreciate your reply. Her family and I buried the hatchet and are now in a good place.
We were engaged to be married, it all came as a massive shock which I can't get my head around. There was nothing at all which made me think she wasn't happy anymore. Just so many questions that I have no answers for. Have many reasons why this may have happened but can't believe for one second she didn't love me. I may as well say I didnt know her at all. I had made so many changes in my life to protect our future one to which was going to be bright and heading to a great place. I miss her so much.
It's very hard, buddy. But just stand straight. Keep your life moving and do things.
Sometimes it happens that we become something different when we're married... or not. With women, it's almost always a lose-lose situation.
Be who you were when you 2 fell in love with each other (give her the space she wants), move on, do stuff, show her you don't depend on her.
More than 10 years ago I was told twice "You're too good, I can't stand it" by 2 different girls while the were finishing the relationship we had.
I think it doesn't get any more confusing than that. I just went on. Life continues. Keep your head up, look for the horizon and try to be happy, with or without her.
The child is a tie for a lifetime, so you will be in touch whether you want it or not.
That child must be your first priority and what matters the most.
Good luck! Stay up!
Thanks. She is younger than me as well. Maybe she was in love with the person she met before we got serious, maybe the serious part, the mature side of being in a relationship wasn't what she wanted. But thats no ones fault, thats just life. Cant be kids when you have kids of your own.
Ive told her that now we're not in a relationship doesnt stop the fact I still love and care for her. I think I needed that closure. For her to know that I respect her decision and I have no hard feelings. That I would rather be a friend rather than just our kids dad.
No 'maybe' about it T - you're SPOT-ON!
Certainly she's unripe in the romantic arena, at least. In which case, you're going to be seeing plenty of her because she'll need your parenting support too much.
So why are you (and Silvarion?) picking unripe plums from the tree and then complaining when you end up with the runs and a tummy-ache, and (Silvarion? - "with women, it's almost always") even going so far as to be blaming what sounds like 99% of all plums generally?
Is that logical, Captains? Or do you need to get to SpecSavers?