I want to marry him
My boyfriend of three years who I now live with is saying he's not sure he ever wants to get married. I'm 38 and he is 52. Neither of us have ever been married nor have kids. I love him. How can I change his mind about marriage?
Well Ravencat, what you should try to do is sit down and have a discussion with your man. And I'm not talking about a one-sided thing where you just say what you want to happen, or give him an ultimatum... I mean an actual discussion about marriage, and all of its different aspects.
Why do you want to get married? What does marriage mean to you? Why doesn't he want to get married? What are the pros and cons of getting married versus keeping things as they presently are?
You've got to try to have an open discussion about it, and use it as a chance to listen and really hear the other person, in addition to explaining your stance.
Personally I don't really agree with marriage, I think it is a waste of money to get married and a liability if you get divorced that just kind of makes it harder to go your separate ways. I don't see where it adds anything to a relationship that wasn't there before. It just seems like an outdated, pointless thing that has no place in today's modern society. But that's just my opinion. Your boyfriend may feel similarly. You have to decide whether you can live with things as they are, or if you need more from it.
H m m m 52 and NEVER been married?
You may be dealing with a "confirmed bachelor." Do you know if he's open to the idea if marriage with ANYONE?
Are there financial reasons he may not want a legal tie?
Is this a deal breaker for you?