My husband's reaction to a guy giving me his number
Ok, so firstly this might be a complete over-reaction. And I'll say right away that my husband is a nice guy in this. He's not abusive or controlling, or any of the things you might start to expect when you read the title of this post. And this is a bit long-winded, so bear with me.
The other day I was on my way home on the bus. As I go to get off the bus driver goes "here you go" and passes me a folded scrap of paper. I said "Thanks?", was confused, but got off the bus and found he'd given me his number.
I know, I know, completely normal and nothing to react about. But it was a little awkward. The guy was mid to late 40s, and I'm 26. We'd never spoken except I always say "hi" and "thank you" as I'm getting on and off the bus. And the slightly creepier part is that every journey this bus driver has seen me on previously (about 4 trips, he's new to this route) I've been with my husband, holding hands etc.
But he wasn't overly creepy about at or anything. That's not my problem. I was embarrassed and felt bad, because I believe it does take a lot of courage to put yourself out there like that. So I told my husband that night, and mentioned how awful and embarrassed I felt.
Here's the problem: He laughed and said "Don't be embarrassed. That just means you've still got it. It's a nice thing to have people interested in you." We didn't say anything more about it.
That's the bit that's not sitting right with me. It feels a bit close to saying I should be grateful for this guys attention.
Like I said, my husband's not chauvinistic or anything. He works in a restaurant and is very protective if his female waitresses get cat-called or harassed. And if this guy had crossed a line he'd be the first to support me. So am I the one over-reacting?
Part of me thinks that if it makes me uncomfortable then it's not a good thing. But the guy didn't do anything too weird, so is it me who's the problem? And should I see it as a compliment?
Just to clarify, I have no problem talking to my husband about how his comment made me feel. But I'd rather know if I'm the one being unreasonable before I bring it up.
Do you think I'm over-reacting?
Was the bus driver creepy, or just normal?
Was my husband right in what he said?
Also I'm now trying to avoid the bus driver because I have no idea how to handle that situation!
I seriously believe you have nothing to feel embarrassed about.
They guy made a move, you are not on the same page. End of story. Next time you can tell him something like: "Thanks for your attention, I'm married and not interested in meeting other men"; just to make it clear.
I think your husband is right, and by saying that he doesn't mean that you have to be grateful, he means that the bus driver found you attractive, which is normal because your husband finds you attractive too.
Don't over-think it.
Chill out and be happy.
Yea i think ur over thinking this a bit..in my eyes bus driver jus being normal..if he dont ask he dont get..yr husband clearly trusts you ..some would want to knock out the bus driver..!!.dont think u need to avoid bus driver..if u nt intrested say thanks but no thanks..good luck
Your husband seems to trust you that you will take care of this "pass" from this guy.
Do you think you can handle this?
(Surely this is not the first time some man has paid attention to you. Why do you doubt yourself?)