PeoplesProblems Logo

Bad news Bumble

Default profile image
I decided I wanted to start dating again so I tried Bumble. I met a guy and we started talking. A month later we actually decided to meet up. He took me on a nice date and I had a really good time. Two days later we went on another date and it was just as nice. I was leaving for a business trip and was gone for ten days. He talked to me the whole time I was away. I met up with him again and it was different. We went to lunch and out to a movie. He was being more open at talking to other girls still. He said he was joking but honestly I couldn't tell. Then I made a mistake and slept with him. He not only told me he wasn't interested in a relationship right now after the fact but he didn't let me stay the night. It was only 9pm. But really after being intimate with someone the last thing I want to do is go home. I'm just at a loss for words. He texted me last night and today. And I told him I wasn't into casual hook ups but would still be okay to hang out in the future. And I got nothing. I'm so upset, I feel so used and played. I don't know what to do in this situation. Or what else to say to him since he hasn't responded.

Bad news Bumble

Default profile image
Say nothing more to him and move on from it. If you can post that you made a mistake of sleeping with him, then it's a lesson learned and if you're not into casual hookups then you need to meet others face to face. Sure, you will always meet others who share this guys morals, but face to face at least lets you have the chance to get to know people who share your interests, as well as your values and standards.

Dating apps and social media just make it easier for some people to use others for the exact purpose of a causal hookup and in our time strapped society, they tend to let us 'cut corners' which sometimes results in a negative situation where we end up feeling hurt and confused.

Bad news Bumble

Default profile image
Hey LCMARIA, I'm so sorry that you're feeling like shit. One thing that I learned from all the BUMBLING I've done in my day, is that you need to have very strong boundaries. By this, I mean, you need to figure out exactly what you're looking for and you need to be able to draw a very hard and straight line, so that when it is crossed, you're done with it. Dating is the hardest thing ever! especially in this day and age, where everyone seems so accessible and fickle and uncommunicative. My advice to you would be to drop him. Do not give him any more attention than you have, do not text him, or call him - He clearly is not treating you with the respect you deserve - hard to hear, especially when you start to like someone, but the reality is, if he were really interested, he would be right there with you. Guys aren't shy about the chasing - if he's being wishy washy, he's not that interested. People can be so cruel, you need to learn how to protect yourself emotionally and mentally. This probably won't be your first and last bumble/tinder experience, so just be aware - what you're experiencing, based on my own experiences as well as a lot of my girlfriends experiences, is common.

My advice is for you to create boundaries. One example, I have a friend who has a 6 date rule, if the guy takes you on 6 meaningful dates, then it might be worth it to bring him home, but if he can't make it to at least 6 dates, then hes only in it for one thing. Thats one tactic, anyway.

Do not contact this guy anymore, do not let him use you at his convenience.

Bad news Bumble

Default profile image
It started out well ... you two were just getting to know each other. But it just wasn't enough time to reveal his character.

That's where he let you down - and you did too since you gave mixed messages, too. Sleeping with him before talking about together about casual sex and/or exclusivity caused confusion.

About the 9 pm 'kick out' - does he have a roomate?

What do you want to do? Start over? Do you want to salvage this? Or are you Disgusted by his behavior so much that you want nothing to do with him?

Bad news Bumble

Default profile image
I don't like that he kicked me out. But I don't know the reasoning. He still texted me that night to make sure I got home and he texted me the following morning. I might have slightly gone off on him. I did want to salvage this to see if there's still a chance. But it might be too late with everything being said.

Bad news Bumble

Default profile image
This relationship may have "jumped the shark." (Ever hear that expression? It means that something happens that changes the (plot) scenario in a negative way, cannot be undone)


Use this as a learning situation: since you are looking for an exclusive relationship, get to know a man before moving on to deeper things, like spending the night. Be sure he is equal to your standards.

You know what you want and deserve. Look for the man that fits.

I would not contact him, if it were me.

Good luck.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-2