Family has a tough relationship with grandfather - worried about him
SARAH - Aug 14 2017 at 15:48
Recently over the past years my family has developed a tough relationship with my grandad. His health has worsened and it is worrying. His relationship specifically with my grandmother is appalling to see. The medication he is taking has caused his to go into a state where he is not himself anymore, everyone knows that this isn't the real him.
To be honest he has always been a bit of a selfish man but never the way he is now. His behaviour towards others is causing the family around him to not care anymore. My family knows he needs help, he needs to eat healthy, he needs to cut down the drinking, however he won't do it. His stubbornness is playing a huge part.
He claims to do these things when he has his hospital visits but it never happens.
The rest of the family is tired, especially my grandmother, if he were to fall she can't lift him, it has happened before and thank goodness he didn't hurt himself severely.
He is acting like a child and is constantly nagging my gran and everyone, they find it diffcult to deal with and they can't have any peace. It is a shame the situation has come to what it is, but if anyone were to leave him he would struggle.
I am asking how to deal with this. If I want to help my family and suggest something like 'Tell him from me he needs to see someone' then I get upset and can't bring anything up. I want him to get help and I'm trying my best to overcome and speak about what I think is right- any tips on this??.
I just want my grandparents and rest of my family to be happy and healthy again. I would give anything for it.
Please any help would be appreciated,
I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope the situation gets better soon.
I have a couple questions for you.
1.- What's your grandpa age?
2.- Is he diagnosed with any mental disease/disorder?
3.- Do your grandparents live with you and your core family?
After that I also want to share some knowledge with you.
Life is cyclical. We're children, then teenagers, then adults and finally, we get to be like children again. When some people reach a certain age, they feel entitled, but they can't think straight anymore. It's like dealing with a kid with too many rights. They feel they know more than you do, they feel they don't have to listen to anyone, because they know better and they feel they can do whatever they feel like, because "they already lived".
So, this puts you in a critical situation that is not entirely or even partially under your control. What you can do is try to be kind to your grandpa and ask him lovingly to stop drinking. To be kind. Tell him you want him around for a lot of time and if he keeps drinking it won't be that way.
Other than that, there's nothing you can do.
Good luck! Take care. Share love.
I hope this helps you.
Hello SILVARION, thank you for such a speedy reply, Apologies in getting back to you- been quite busy.
In regards to your questions-
My grandpa is 71 years old, he hasn't been diagnosed with any mental disease/ disorder and my grandmother and him do not live with my core family.
The only thing that is different about him emotionally is the medication he takes- the only thing that can possibly change his behaviour.
Anyway, thank you again for the help, it has made me realise what to really focus on.