Unbiased relationship advice
TATTGIRL - Aug 15 2017 at 02:01
I've been in a relationship for 7 years, we have lived together the last 4 1/2, we are both in our 40's so not kids. I have one adult child from an previous marriage who lives out of state. He has never been married or had kids. Basically a very "nice guy" I care about him but I'm not sure I'm in love with him anymore. We haven't been intimate in over 4 years, its more of a roommate situation in my eyes, with me paying most of everything. He tells me he loves me all the time but I just don't feel it.
Money is a huge strain and I just found out by accident he has made some purchases yet tells me he never has any money. It's not the first time for his "little white lies" and I'm not sure why I feel so hurt by it? I feel like just telling him financially- "we are roommates split everything 50/50 or I'm leaving" I know he would be extremely shocked and hurt but I don't feel like I can fake it much longer.
Do I continue in a relationship without intimacy forever? I feel like I'm cheating myself because I don't want to hurt him, while ultimately it's hurting myself. Would you want to be confronted? I don't know how to approach it without him being completely defensive? HELP :(
If you're not in love with him, and there's no intimacy then you shouldn't be there. It's not so much of whether he's a nice guy or if he'll be shocked, what does matter is you. If you're not happy with the situation, then sit him down and explain why his actions are saying more to you than his words. Regardless of where your relationship stands, if he lies then it tells you how much respect he has for you.
I think you are cheating yourself. Everyone wants intimacy with their partner, you need that connection and contact to continue to grow love. There's only so long you can put a bandaid on a thing like that.