Bad long distance relationship
LOSTPOET - Aug 17 2017 at 16:32
I have been dating a 30 year old lady and am a 31 year old male. We started off as friends as we met online on a dating zone and she said she was single then i later found out she had someone. That made me take caution and decided to be friends. After 6 years as friends and after she told me she ended thing with her ex we decided to go out only to find out she was still with the guy. The guy found out she was with me and that’s how they broke up. Many times we chat offer the phone she would tell me one thing and the next something that contradicts her initial statement. So now every-time we argue all i think off is her going to do the same thing she did with others guys and look for someone else whilst still with me. How do i continue being in a relationship with someone who has a history that created a big void of doubt in my mind? I still love her but i dont know how to just let go of her past moves of moving to one relationship to another. I feel like most times she is dishonest with me and i know when there is no trust there is no reason to continue. My trust issue arise when i sense dishonesty
I think you already have your answer, you just want someone to back you up.
If you feel she's dishonest and you can't trust her with your heart, that relationship is destined to end sooner or later.
I can understand that is hard to break with someone when you have strong feelings, but friends do not lie to each other neither partners do.
So, the decision is in your hands, it has always been. The right moment is up to you. You can just wait until she makes a move and you discover she's with somebody else or you can just cut it for good now and let her deal with her issues.
Good luck! Take care!
Whether she's your friend or you're trying to be in a relationship with her, you're more than right when you talk about the lack of trust. If you don't have it, you can't be successful with her and her ongoing and initial actions tell you where you stand with her. It's your choice as to what you do, but you need someone in your life who is honest and upfront with you 100% of the time and who at least, has respect for you. She as none for herself let alone for you. You guys are LD, it's already twice as difficult and, going by your past, only enables her to 'play the field' more easily.
Her actions, right from when you first met, tell you what sort of a person she is and you need to determine whether your attempts to be with her are worth your time and effort.
Trust me, I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years ,and I know he cheated his ex and I stayed because he was convincing me he changed and he loves me,and he wouldn't do that to me. The lies never stopped with him. And I would just look away and forgive. But then I became toxic and was checking on him all the time witch I never wanted.
It ruined me,I was giving my love and trust to him,and I never lied or even thought on cheating but the ? over my head about his fidelity was taking my time and life. I don't know if he cheated ,he broke up with me ,and I will probably never find out that,because I don't know anyone there were he is. And the thought that he maybe cheated and came back to me and I didn't know was killing me .
You know what they say "once a cheater , always a cheater "
I hope this helps you because you sound like a loving person ! Don't give that love to someone that doesn't appreciate it !