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I tried cheering up a depressed guy, and now I think he's obsessed with me?

Posted by
MESOJOY
on Aug 29 2017 at 15:42
Member since: 29 August 2017
Relationship advice I am a very normal person, or at least i like to think that i am. So when i found out that the guy that sits next to me in class is depressed, i tried cheering him up by just talking to him everyday. Turns out we have alot in common, we both like games, and internet culture and stuff, so we get along just well. But the problem is... i think he likes me? I'm not actually sure, it could just be that since we get along so well, he just feel better talking to me.

Now he talk to me constantly in class, sometimes even getting me in trouble. He wants to hang out at school, after school, saturday, sunday, basically everytime of the day. If i make an excuse to not hang out with him like, homework, he will offer to do my homework for me. If i say i have training, he will ask if he can join and watch. On steam he will ask me if i want to play with him, and i don't want to say no, because i once said 'no thank you i want to play alone' and the next day he looked like shit, like he stayed up all night or something. Im kinda concerned. Yesterday i got a friend request on facebook from him, and i don't know if i should accept and im afraid he'll bring it up in conversation. And all this started since two weeks ago, when school started again.

I don't want to say to him that i don't want to hang out or talk to him, because i'm afraid he'll get even worse. Should i gently let him down, or should i talk to my teacher? I don't think my friends will help at all, since all they to is 'ship' me and him toghether, and it's very annoying because i really don't know what to do. Help?

I tried cheering up a depressed guy, and now I think he's obsessed with me?
Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Aug 29 2017 at 18:24
Member since: 27 December 2013
Well, you are not a therapist or a mind reader, so you don't know if YOUR actions are contributing to this guy's behavior (real or doing it for attention0

Your kindness got misinterpreted as female attention. Tough to back out on.

Bring some other people into the mix, especially guys. Invite this guy to group things only.

Let the entire group "adopt" him.

Don't let your friends dictate your action, and don't make this guy YOUR sole issue.

I tried cheering up a depressed guy, and now I think he's obsessed with me?
Reply from
HARRY888
on Sep 2 2017 at 12:54
Member since: 08 October 2016
Finding water in a desert is like a gold mine , such is finding a friend when you are in dire need. It is nice that you cheered him up and quiet natural for him to get hooked on to you too. A good way to subtly bring it to his notice that you aren't interested in him is by probably being a little less affectionate or caring towards him, not to crush him again. But slowly and steadily say a no to him for things he wants from you. Playing a blind eye towards his presence. It is more hurtful to lead someone the wrong path than to be honest about how you feel about them. And don't worry he doesn't really expect the world from you or want you to be his partner in crime. Be normal, as you were before. Smilingly say a no when he asks if you want to hang out together. He will feel the pinch of it but it aint the end of the world or its not something that he is going to really weep about.

Be nice while declining his offer. You can avoid accepting the facebook request right away. Maybe after the tide passes, you can put him on limited profile and then deal with it. By then he would have been sorted about the way he thinks about you.

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