What the heck happened here???
Hi, trying this site to try to end my confusion. Have been in a solid relationship for 6 months or so, then on Fri after a mild argument (no exaggeration) she blows things up and on Fri, after she had a issue that was stressful, she declares she nbeed "me time". She refused to answer calls or text until Sun. at which poit she tells me we should just be friends. Out of the blue.
Please consider this: on the Thur.prior she states that Iam the best thing that ever happened to her. We have both expressed intamacy iasues, some with me taking medicine (both of us actually), her children who I adore are always sleeping in bed with hwr when at my house so we have no time or privacy, her friend has taken to coming over every time and I get kind oxf shuffled out so there is not even the intimacy of touch.
Note that she has a history of being abused and is a reovering addict (18mos) she also has mild bipolarI.
Also, I must admit that on Sat.I allowed myself to lose control of reason and called too may times. Not out of jealousy, but sheer confusion.
She continues to say she just feel a vibe anymore, but in entering this relationship we were slow and open about beinbg heart broken before and discussed how feelings can sometimes wane but you have to address them to get back on track.
Just confused to go from Youre the best thing that ever happened to Lets be friends in 48 hrs. Never bbeen a single time of this before. Nothing even close. Help please!
Best to step back and let this lady get herself straight (in whatever that may mean)
She is not ready or able to have a love interest at this time.
Six months is not a long enough time to really get to know one another.
I suggest that you begin to date right away. Maybe she will miss you or appreciate you and want to start up the relationship. But, really, you don't sound like you ever had a real stable, loving, romantic, sexy thing with her.
Time will tell.
Romantic love is a very hard thing to navigate for all us even after many years. That fact is not likely to take your pain away but may lessen some confusion. To make matters even more challenging you mentioned there have been negative relational histories as well as some disorders that require medication. Considering all these personal effects, you may want to look positively on the 6 months you already have had.
This is not to say this relationship is destined to be an emotional roller coaster, but it may be. Are you both prepared for that? Can you both demonstrate the patience, understanding, forgiveness, and yes, time apart that this may require? Love and commitment have the capacity to suffer much. Mere affairs do not have this gift. Which do you want? What does she want? What is she willing to endure? At this point, very little it appears.
Losing “control of reason” at this point may not a bad thing. Non judgmental communication with her at a level you have not had before may be necessary to get this relationship back on track, and this time with expectations, negotiated boundaries, and accountability. Love is an adventure but well worth the journey. Let us know how it goes.