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Newlywed trouble

Posted by
HELPLESSBRIDE
on Sep 5 2017 at 19:47
Member since: 05 September 2017
Relationship advice I've been married for 7 months to a guy I dated for a solid 2 years.. I thought I knew him well enough to know I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We've yet to have 1 day in the past 7 months without butting heads... he never compliments me.. and pretty much we have sex maybe every 2 months if I initiate it... he says it's just not important to him and it's not me.. I feel lonely in this marriage, I feel unhappy, and I'm beginning to feel depression/ anxiety weekly.. I feel like if something is not important to him.. he just doesn't see that' it's important to me.. I've always known I'm a more physical person than him and I accepted that and tones myself down for him... but we have less intimacy now than we did when we were dating... I've communicated this issue with him many times throughout the 7 months and it's yet to change.. we've both even said that if we were still dating we would've broke things off because that's how bad it is../ I just don't know what to do.. I can't talk to anyone because I am a very private person.. please someone give me guidance..

Newlywed trouble

Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Sep 5 2017 at 19:52
Member since: 27 December 2013
IF he wants to keep this marriage together, he will go to marriage counseling with you.

This does NOT sound good: your intimacy problems are an indication that the relationship is not up to being a marriage.

All this signs were there, you just didn't acknowledge them.

Seven months is not very long. Don't stay in an intolerable situation.

Newlywed trouble

Reply from
HELPLESSBRIDE
on Sep 5 2017 at 21:20
Member since: 05 September 2017
Wow, that really worries me.. that brings this to a whole new level.. now I'm even more stressed :(

Newlywed trouble

Reply from
MERCI
on Sep 12 2017 at 05:46
Member since: 29 July 2017
You’ve almost put three years into this relationship, so please don’t give up! Try and remember the reasons why you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person. What were some of the fun things you did together? Think back to your wedding day and the excitement of finally, becoming a husband and wife. Do you have a wedding book that you and your husband could look at together over a glass of sparkling water or wine? Are you still having “date night” at least, once a week? This play time is very important.

My first year of marriage was terrible, I cried all the time. Our fight was mostly about money, but that alone kept our intimate sex life at bay. But, there’s hope... we’ve now been married for decades and it has been wonderful. We had to learn our marriage wasn’t just a 50/50 deal. If so, you’ll never meet in the middle!

You mentioned he never compliments you? How often do you compliment him? Women need to know they are loved and men need to know they are respected. Marriage is an adventure, sometimes you do get lost, and feel all alone. But, when you do find each other again and see the desires of each others heart, the intimacy won’t be far behind. ;)

There is a wonderful Book Resource called: Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

The LOVE she most desires/The RESPECT he desperately needs

Newlywed trouble

Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Sep 12 2017 at 14:16
Member since: 27 December 2013
If you two had a "hot" relationship when dating and before marriage, I would agree that it's first year jitters and re- adjustment. But you say this has been an issue for a long time and you may have assumed that it would have gotten better. Instead it's worse.

Counseling is important. He may have a low libido, be depressed, or some other reason he can't fulfill the marriage contract.

Goid luck!

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