Finally engaged but really struggling... Need to know I'm not alone
So after 8 years together, 2 children and all the other normal stuff, my partner finally proposed, I am over the moon but feel strange.
I am constantly questioning if it's what I want, feeling nervous and the biggest thing is.....he will be the last person I'm ever intimate with. We don't have a particularly exciting sex life, I've tried everything but he's just not that way. I am scared.
I love him but we don't have much at all in common.
Two people that have their own worlds that they manage... then come together for love, healing, sharing...are two people that will be happy together. So it doesn't matter so much that you don't have lots in common. What matters is that he respects and takes care of you. Believe it or not that is a tall order. You are so used to your reality and comfortable (a state of mind that exists because your life is the way it is) that you have forgotten that the world can be very cold.
You are going to feel strange for sure!! Its a major change in life!! Major changes effect our PERSPECTIVE, you have to see the big picture, all of the truths, all that matters to you.
It is unfortunate that media has defined what a 'sex life' should be because it should be a CONNECTION. SOOTHING. The act of making love.
It should be delicate and sweet, comfortable.
What we put the sunshine on... will grow. Meaning you are placing attention in the wrong places and its growing fear, confusion in your mind.
Have you noticed that Pharrell Williams wears a hat with the word PLANT on it? He is presenting the powerful truth to everyone that our mind IS like a plant. It is seeded with billions of different things, everything that we see, hear, and experience!! It is important that we all be LANDSCAPERS to our own mind.
We have to be our own teachers to our own mind.
So take a notebook and make a list of all of the reasons why you should be together. Write all of the wonderful things about him. Write your memories. Write what he accepts about you. Write his strengths.Write about his relationship with kids. Write as much as you possibly can. Take you time collecting your thoughts. Put everything in light.. SEE it to believe it. These are the things that are important to you, no one is perfect.
At some point you might cry and realize that he is WONDERFUL. Keep making these lists because you can use them to create a wonderful wedding gift for him!!
PS. Congratulations on the engagement!!!!
If there is anything else I can help you with let me know. Remember that life is just one experience after another after another after another...until we pass. I hope that you create WONDERFUL experiences for this glorious occasion.
Get in gear...DESIGN all of your details, your events, design your experiences, design others experiences... design your life. And teach your children the power of ART. We are art. Life is art.
What do you mean "he's just not that way"?