Morning fellow people problems. I have a mate that moans a lot. Although they have many good qualities. The moaning is every time I see them. His do I discuss this with them without being rude or bossy please?
Honesty is the best policy and the path towards FREEDOM not just for you but for them.
Put it all very lightly, next time that they are moaning tell them .... hey! did you guys know that you do that A LOT!!
Tell them that you are not used to it and it kinda brings you down.
Then have some truths and examples of the last few times that they moaned in case they do not agree that they are moaners.
Then give them a CD that you burned for them, put songs on like, LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE, HAPPY- PHARRELL WILLIAMS, THANK YOU INDIA -ALANIS MORRISETTE - IVE GOT THAT POWER - WILL I AM AND JUSTIN BEIBER, ... Help them lift their moods and open their perspective as to why they should be more grateful about life.
You could change thier life and they might be forever grateful to you. Sometimes we can't see ourselves, or that we can change.
Thank you both. I think I'll discuss it with them.
Hopefully, your showing it brings you down should elicit an apology and opening-up regarding why  they feel the need to moan so much (sign of frustration and helplessness) and  seem to think it's okay to spill the symptom(s) of their malcontent onto *you*, yet without explaining the root of their problem/unhappiness as they do so as renders you yourself ending up feeling powerless and just 'dumped on'. And then report back to let us know how the conversation went.
One question before you go, though: are they moaning about the same thing(s) over and over or new things as and when they occur?
Old and new things.
And do you feel that a number of these old things could/should have been dealt with, i.e. you would have by now, if it were you?
I think that you want to impress the idea that you want them to be happy, that you feel bad that they are suffering.
I think that is the ultimate truth here.
Sometimes it takes being grateful for what we DO have, and we need to place less importance on what we do not have... to make us realize how blessed most of us truly are. It can always get better and it can always get worse, we have do what we can to heal ourselves and live in the present. Present/Present.
There has got to be a great film that reflects this situation.... hmmmm....JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO!! lol With Tom Hanks is one !! WHAT ABOUT BOB with Bill Murray and Richard Dreifus is fantastic too !! WITH HONOUR with Brandon Fraiser. JACK AND JILL VERSUS THE WORLD is on Netflix, another great film that made me appreciate all that I have. Some people are struggling from so much, but you would never know it.
If you love your friends make a card for them, a card that lists all of the words that describe what YOU see in them, so that they focus on those things instead of the pattern of thoughts that they have spiraled into. Our mind creates patterns, and they are stuck in a groove. The card will offer them a fresh track for them to 'think they can' on!!
Surround yourself with people who affirm your life. You are not a therapist or a chronic shoulder to cry on.
It's OK to cut back on the amount of energy you can spend with them.
Be more healthily selfish with your time.