What to do now?
Hi guys, I writing on this forum to get some advices. Got some but from friends and family and sometimes the won't give you unbiased advices.
So let't introduce myself. I am a 36 years old french chef living in Argentina. I had a relationship for 10 years from an argantinean women ans the result is two beautiful sons of 3 and 8 years old. We split 5 month ago but remain under the same roof. The idea was that I would go back to France in september and they would join me in december. There we would be separated but France is a better option than Argentina to raise kids.
Why we split? She told me than I never invested into the relationship like she did, that she wanted to go to france 10 years ago, that I was to distant with her.... Bottom line is that she studied nursery the past five years and I was the one working in the house. Other things is maybe I am a lousy husband but I am the best Dad in the world. I don't have social life and I don't mind, whenever I have spare time I share it with my kids. You would never saw me without them.
The thing is that now she doesn't want to follow me to France. She now has a good job as a nurse, and working in France would be to dificult because her degrees are not valid there. To make things worse, she is dating some guy and looks perfectly happy.
So I am at a crossroad, and don't know wich way to turn...
First option is to stay close to my kids in Argentina with low pays, high inflation and virtually no chance to get a house or a car in the near future.
Second option is to move forward, to go back to France where I have all my family and friends. To work there as much as I can, buy a house, a car, open a restaurant and visit my kids two times a year or maybe they can fly over to visit me.
Wich option is best or let's say less bad? Go back to France and prepare a brighter future for my kids if one day they want to live with me? As well I would be able to help them economically. Or I stay here, work like hell as well but I wouldn't be able to offer them much.
Guys any advice? I love them so much....
Thanks for reading
To be able to help your kids, first you need to be able to help yourself. How you do this is your decision. If your kids are your priority rather than your career, then your decision will reflect that. If you do leave, then you will most likely take them with you where they will be surrounded by family and friends. If the only thing keeping your ex local, is her career and her new man and not so much your kids, then you are the one to make decisions for them and their future.
The first thing is to have a plan based on discussions with the mother of your children.
You have listed everything you "hope" happens in France. That's a ling way to go for a change away from your children.
Where you are now is reality. How about moving to another resort/vacation spot where your skills would be appreciated to start over?
Your children need to come first.