It's not like I don't have other friends, but they're also friends with them so I don't even feel comfortable going to school anymore but I'm in AP classes and missing one day feels like a week. I don't really know what I did wrong, but H had posted something on her private Instagram account that she had blocked me from (a friend had sent it to me) that read: "Advice: I'm stuck in a toxic friendship that I know isn't healthy for me. It's hard to let go, especially because we're mostly just laughing all the time, but it makes me feel awful and I don't know if I should give it another chance." obviously, it was posted the same day we got in a fight and she blocked me right before posting it. I have absolutely no idea what I have done to her to be a toxic friend and I feel like complete shit. I've woken up everyday crying and went to bed every night crying and begging my parents to let me stay home. I feel completely isolated and I don't know what to do in this situation, I don't feel like I did anything wrong but I feel like a completely shitty person and I contemplate if I should just kill myself lately.
You sure let other people affect you, don't you? Why do you give your power away to others?
Time to get some adult, professional help to sort all this out.
You seem very bright. Everything is in front of you. Don't miss it.
Life is precious. Always choose life.
You mentioned that your friend H doesn’t invite you to most things? And yet, they are upset because they feel you always bail? Am I understanding this correctly? This could be a communication problem, ask your friends to make a list of all the activities you’ve bailed on lately. If they can’t think of any except, the football game, then they may be trying to make you feel guilty?
Have you talked to your Mom about how important it is to participate in school activities? And in the future if you can’t find a ride, maybe your parents could give you a ride to the game? You begged your parents to let you stay home from school but that just made you feel more isolated. Does your Mom know you are suffering from depression? If you are having suicidal thoughts, it’s time to talk to your parents, they will know how to help you!
You mentioned missing classes makes you fall behind in school work, and that can add to your depression. Your friend T telling you to “just get over it” isn’t always that simple. Some types of depression like a fever may be a warning that you need medical help.
Here’s a link to call to talk to someone about your feelings of suicide.
(800) 273-8255 http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline
In this adventure of life, consider this a learning experience. The importance of friendships and trusting and respecting one another. And hopefully, with old and new friends at school there will be another football game that you can cheer on together?
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