Please advise me regarding my relationship issue!
I am a male and I am in love with my straight male friend. We know each other since last 6 years.
I had confessed my feelings to him long time ago. He did not reacted much at that time. I felt like it was okay with him and I was accepted. I was doing lots of things for him as you know being in love always make us curious to do anything.
Even though I had a chance to have some kind of physical pleasure after that confession. I was more worried about Loosing him. So I tried to hide my physical attraction feelings. . I tried my best to just stay as a friend at that time.
He was always very mean to me, but my freaking heart never caref and always beared all that.
Anyways there came a time when he started ignoring me entirely, and I also left the city and never contacted him. Feelings were still there but I managed somehow.
After two years, he got a chance to talk to me through a social site, and he mentioned like how he was mean to me. He felt bad for all that. Finally we decided that we gonna start our friendship with a new beginning. Which I been okay so far as I was not texting him much like I used. I hadn't any kind of feeling as I had before. As now we are in same town so we do hang put together. And many time he mentioned you don't text me or call me like you used to do.
Sorry for long story, so now on today's date I got all the feelings back and I am again in the same situation. Again in love and all those. Btw he is married and he has a wife and kids. I confessed him again and he said he likes me as a friend. I also ask him if he doesn't like all this then why doesn't he yell at me or ask me to get lost. I am again in the situation where I am doing or ready to do anything for him. Sometimes I think he is there just to have all the advantages he is getting.
My question is. should I ask him clearly weather he accepts my love or not? And should move on forever if it doesn't get accept. It's very hard to stay like this where you feel like you have chances. Also I think if he doesn't have anything, then why he wants to be in a friendship with me.
I am in huge stress. Please help me and advice me! Please reply!!
I'm confused. You said:
"Sometimes I think he is there just to have all the advantages he is getting."
Are you friends or lovers?
In any case, this is un-returned love and/or even friendship on your part.
Why do you settle for so little?
Thank you for replying! I treated him always as my lover and her knew it since beginning!
That's true why I am settled for so little!
Please advise me what should I do!
Hey, I think you may need to accept that this person will never be more than a friend, which will hurt but in the long run it will be better for you. You don't need to waste your time on someone who does not love you back. Stay friends with him, but accept that you need to look else where for romantic love. There is definitely someone out there for you, its just not him. You need to put yourself first and move on so that you can find someone who loves you. It will get easier.
Thank you for reply and your advise!
Well, thank-you for your lovely manner!
It wasn't a long story, though. Quite short, I thought.
Feel free to keep posting if you need any more assistance than that?
Martin is right.
You do need to move on, but when we tell someone to MOVE ON it seems like such a daunting task, its not like driving our car from one parking lot and putting it into a park.
Or is it?
I think that you need to fill your life up with more. When you have MORE in your life, this will become smaller, less relevant, less important to you.
You need MORE.
More.... interests, hobbies, friends, activities, experiences, things you need to do, things you want to do, things you want to try in life, challenges, games, books, movies, ...more purpose.
Imagine your mind to be a planet of its own. What is growing on your planet? What have you built? Right now I see a tower of love for this dude... but you need to build a tower of love for all kinds of different things and people that life has to offer you... then that tower of love for the dude will almost disappear.
Do you see what I mean?
So get busy with other things sweetheart.
Also, on your planet it looks like you might have built a strong path. A path that has told you that the way to someones heart is to serve them. You need to see this fact and you need to see that it is WRONG. This way you can build a path that runs both ways. A relationship is a two way street.
You want to be appreciated and you want to give to someone because you appreciate them.... not because you want them to like you.
FREE YOURSELF from these patterns. Define What love is, how it should feel, what a relationship is... and WHO I AM. Literally take a pen and paper and answer these questions. When defining who you are you want to inspire yourself to be more, you want to write all of the great qualities and characteristics you have, what your purpose is, what your interests are, .... and more.