Boyfriend and his divorce
I need advice about my boyfriend and his divorce and his ex.
I am with my boyfriend for 11 months. He is going through a divorce. Before we met they were already separated.
I really love him, he is my first love, I never felt this way about anybody before.
He only started the proceedings because I kept asking when will it be finished. He doesn't want to talk about the proceedings with me and we fight a lot about his divorce. We fight because I feel he doesn't do enough to finish the proceedings and because he doesn't want to talk to me about it.
Yesterday, I snooped trough his phone. I know I musnt snoop, I am not that type of girl!!!
I saw a message on his phone with his ex. He asked her if her boyfriend also want to know about the divorce proseedings. She said yes. He said do you also fight about it. She said yes, that its easy for them (me and the boyfriend) to think the worst about them (boyfriend and ex). He said thats true.
I am really hurt because I asked him once to never talk about me with the ex.
What must I do?
You need to wait for your BF to finalize his divorce before you even think about getting serious with him because he can't be any good for you while he sorts it. He needs to be well and truly over his marriage without looking over his shoulder, before he can commit to you (or anyone for the matter) properly. His communication with his ex tells you where you stand and you need to take two steps away from it and look at it from a different angle. You will then see why you fight over his divorce proceedings, proceedings which shouldn't involve you at all.
While you stay involved with him and then question him about his divorce, which leads to fights with him, you're basically damning yourself trying to be with a guy who may have been separated from his ex when you met him, but is still 'with her'.
Are there children involved? Perhaps that's the complication. If NOT, then if he was REALLY serious about getting out of this marriage, he would speed up the process.
Please google "transitional woman after divorce."