my best friend has had a crush on me for about six months now. at first i didn’t even see him as more than a friend, then he slowly started to become one of my closest friends. i tell him things that nobody else knows about me. over the summer he struck up the courage to actually tell me he likes me (i had already known through our friends). i didn’t know if i could see us together romantically so i told him that and i tried to get closer with him in that way but i didn’t feel the same way as him. he got angry with me when i told him this and he accused me of just being scared. he tends to be quick to anger when he things don't really go his way, whereas i am quick to get upset and sad.
when we got back to school this fall he again told me that he still likes me. i told him i figured that bc he’s been acting different than if we were just platonic friends. i told him i don’t feel the same way but i don’t want him out of my life. pretty much i left the choice up to him on if we would stay friends. long story short we are still friends but he seems to avoid me in public.
recently i can’t stop thinking about him and how things are so much different now that i don’t talk to him everyday and see him every week. i’ve been thinking about how i could definitely see us in a relationship together bc we are both relationship types and don’t like hookups. so if we did date it could work with us. however, what i question is my sexual attraction towards him. i’m attracted to him emotionally, physically, etc but i can’t picture us together sexually. idk if that’s bc we’re both really inexperienced or if i just see him more as a friend. in the past i’ve been sexually attracted to guys before and some of them i barely even knew anything about them so it's not a sexuality concern.
so my question to you is what to you recommend i try doing from here? do you think i’m not attracted sexually to him bc we haven’t tried to even kiss before? or do you think i’m just scared to be with him? also do you as an outsider to the situation think i like him back? bc i’ve never really liked anyone before so i don’t exactly know how i’m supposed to feel. should i tell him how i'm feeling or do you think that would just get his hopes up? Thanks!!
You’re not attracted to him sexually because you’ve probably only seen him as a friend, but you don’t have to be initially attracted to him sexually without trying to have a romantic relationship first, I feel that if you have true romantic feelings for him, you will became sexually attracted to him when you get to be in that romantically relationship. And if you realize you don’t really feel how you thought you felt for him, you don’t have to advance to that sexual level.
But I would definitely say, give him a chance and don’t wonder what would’ve been if you had giving yourselves that opportunity.
If you’re missing him and wondering about him in more than a friendship level, that’s possibly a sign.
Or could it be possible that you feel guilty for his physical absence as a friend because you weren’t able to reciprocate the same feelings initially when he told you about his?
I don’t know if this would help, but hope it does!