Me and my Boyfriend are in relationship for more than 12 years now in which 5 years was a long distance relationship as he went overseas for his further studies. Before 2 years i went to stay with him and to know each other more. things were going well between us until he has to come back to our native place due to some family emergency and again we were in along distance relationship for almost 4 months. As he left the country in emergency he did nit got chance to extend his visa due to which he was not able to come back which led me to back back to my native place after 4 month from he left.
Belonging to an Asian Family it is very difficult to convenience our family for love marriage which we somehow managed to get through. But the problem started after i thought everything is perfect. its about few months when me and my boyfriend went out for a trip i found out that he was seeing some one while i was away.
My Boyfriend is helping his brother in their family business and that girl he was seeing was working in their office. I read all the sex-text that they had and when i confronted him about the truth he literally denied to me after showing him the proof he accepted ans said that it was his mistake it just happened once as he was too frustrated because of the things going around him. But when i asked that girl about their relation she said that they are in relation since 1 year which my boyfriend is denying till now. even in their conversation my boyfriend was asking her to meet on the coming weekend on asking him why is he seeing her still he cried and said that it was just a joke and he is not seeing her anymore. he said that he was just playing around with her.That girl told me that they had all kind of relation between them but my boyfriend says that they just had a blow job and that too was year ago now hes is not seeing anyone and that he loves only me. i do not know whom to believe in this situation, the person i love or the their conversation that i have witnessed. Problems does not end here I belong to a very highly educated and middle class family whereas my boyfriend is spoil brat. he went to abroad for studies but he did not completed his education and basically he is not as educated as i am and that's what is troubling my parents also he drinks every night and he gets so drunk that he does not even realize who is he standing in front of ans starts talking bad words and starts abusing me in front of my parents. Recently we had fight on his drinking habit and i blocked him because he was too drunk to talk normal, next day he followed me to my work work shouting and abusing me all over the way to my work and also he broke down at my work place screaming at me. Now i work at a reputed company and hold a very good position over their. His behavior has changed a lot in past one year. he has become someone i think i knew knew though i am in relation with in since 12 long years.
Now issue is that after knowing all this things about him like harassing me on roads, offices and having affairs my parents does not want me to get married to him. I am Confused too because i have given him many chance to change himself and be responsible enough to start a married life but he seems busy enjoying his bachelor life and seems as if he does not want to take any responsibilities. He is not even earning enough to afford himself at times he has to borrow money from me. He does not want to leave me, he is saying that he loves me a lot and just want to marry me. Now i am not sure to marry him or not. what if he still continues his affair with that girl or someone else after marriage?
What if he does not earn anything and i have to run the house? what if he does not quit his excessive drinking habits and come home late drunk and start hitting me or my kids? he cannot get job anywhere as he does not have any degree...
I love him a lot and i have neglected all his mistakes till now nut this time all this thoughts are haunting me. i am worried about my future...
Please guide me or help me what should i do?
If you really want to be with him and can forgive him for all the things he has done. Doesn't sound like he is ready to settle down at all. But I think you should wait to marry him until he has given you a long time without mistakes. Seek consultant with a real life person and talk through all your issues then decide. Your family is looking out for you and your best interest. They love you and they want to look after you. Hoping for the best :)