My parents depress me
EDDYKIM1L - Oct 26 2017 at 12:50
So actually my parents are maybe not the worst, but for sure worse in comparison with other parents. I'm 17 and last year of high school, I have no hopes, no dreams. I have nothing basically except my boyfriend , he is the only person that's always there for me and tries to cheer me up.
My parents are divorced 5 years now , my father doesn't Care at all about me or my brother. He talks/meets us twice a month. My mother she is always busy with work or scrolling her Facebook page, actually almost never pays attention to us , my brother is 15. And even tho he is so young, he doesn't have any dreams or hopes either, he doesn't study for school at all, he is always out with pretty odd people and he is really aggressive , I've tried to talk to him, nothing works, mother doesn't care at all.
The education system here is really bad, so without any courses (after school lessons) its really hard to have good grades and get into a good university. My dream was always to do a job related to other countries or languages. My parents don't help me at all and don't support at all my studies, they both deny to pay for any courses or any kind of help I need. I'm not such a good student (15/20) so I find it really hard. I really wanted to study abroad but both of my parents say I'm gonna fail and I'm not smart enough to do that. My boyfriend is the only one who believes in me but I feel really discouraged all the time, today my mother even said that I should break up with him and scold him. Because we often stay indoors and most of the time all we do is cuddle but she always thinks I'm having sex with him. Yesterday my grandma came without anyone knowing . my brother wasn't home, my mother neither. I was alone with my boyfriend so , she said she caught us doing impropriate things but all we did was watching TV and Talking about what we should do next. My grandmother said that to my mother, she came home, aggressive and hit me while I was talking with him on the phone. called me a bitch and said I should break up with him and that he only wants me to fuck (we were friends 1,5year and 3 months together so there's no way, he shows he really respects me) she said many mean things. And she actually made both of us upset. I don't know what I can do anymore. Maybe disappear? But how?
The strongest unit globally, is the family. It is sad and counterproductive when this unity is not at full strength. I appreciate your challenge and distress. I also respect your platonic relationship with your boyfriend. If he stays attracted to you without the sexual component, he appreciates the other levels of attraction that can sustain a strong relationship for a lifetime. You do not pick your family. You pick your friends.
So that should be step one. Have a partner who has similar goals and aspirations as yours or at least is willing to accept your likes and dislikes. Opposites can and do attract but that normally only applies to personality traits (ie, talkative-quiet, outgoing- introvert, etc.).
And now the disappearing act. No one should ever be subject to abuse, physical or verbal. Yes, it may be time to move on. Have you researched foreign exchange programs or work programs that may allow work passage to another country of choice? How about apprentice opportunities that will eventually lead to a global skill? Where are your passions? What and who will drive you to the achievement of your goals? Money and education are important but not nearly as important as your attitude. Attitude and outlook should keep your focus and your eyes on the prize as well as provide some self-discipline that will last a life time.
With all this being shared, I’m putting the ball back in your court. I would like you to do some goal setting with me. Please identify a specific goal in writing. Make it measurable. That is, how do you know when it has been accomplished. It must also be achievable, realistic and time related. When you respond, I will help you with some intermediate, daily activities that will keep the “focus”.
This can be done. How deep is your desire?