I found out in July that my husband of 24 years had been on a 'site' chatting with a woman and paying a lot of money for this pleasure! we are both in our mid 40's and life has been tough and i guess this had shown as all the intimacy had gone from our marriage. I confronted him and he admitted what had been going on. I read some of the messages and became upset as he had tried to get this person to meet He always maintained that he loved his wife but i was just not interested in sex any more. we have talked it out and decided we both love each other and to try and make our marriage work. Life has been much better in and out of bed actually our sex life has become amazing but i just cannot get the actions and words from out of my head..i am checking his email, phone etc and have become really paranoid. I need to move on from this but i am unsure how.
Time is the thing that will allow you to heal and move on from your issue. The fact that you have talked it out with your husband and used communication to sit down and discuss his actions and your reaction to them, should tell you that your love and the need for each other is there. When you stop checking his email etc and begin to focus on life and your marriage, then your trust will start to come back and this takes time.
You guys have been positive by working together to solve a negative issue but your actions of continuing to check up on him is another negative. While you continue to this, your mind is churning over insecure thoughts rather than letting you look ahead to happy and secure life with your husband.