Was she going to kiss me?
The other day a friend of mine invited me over.
She snuck me in her room and took me to lay with her in her bed. We laid talking and then she kissed my forehead and wrapped me in her arms, with my forehead touching her jaw. We stayed like this for 30 minutes. Then I had to leave so I woke her up slightly.
She pulled my face towards her and kissed my forehead. "What was that for?" I asked. She replied "Because I love you." She was holding my face and was looking at me then she leaned in and kissed my nose and giggled.
She sat up and said "I'm going to miss you" (as she's traveling in a couple days back to college) and hugged me tight and kissed my cheek and forehead. Then she stared at me and said "I want a kiss." I then kissed her cheek. And she got up to sneak me out. She held my hand and led me to the door and asked me to please come again tomorrow after her parents sleep.
She asks me to keep coming every night as she needs me, feels safe with me and I make her happy.
Whenever we're together, we're ether cuddling or holding hands with interlocked fingers.
The problem is we're both girls and she has a boyfriend. He does not like the fact that I spend much time with her and get along with her family.
And I don't know if these things are appropriate or not because I do not feel anything.
Are you feeling used? Do you feel that she's making unwanted sexual advances to you OR she's scared about going back to school and is clinging to you?
Are you feeling uncomfortable? That's the real issue.
I think the real question here is if you feel attracted to her or not.
I mean, Even as close friends, it would seem that she wants some more intimate relationship with you. I would talk with her, as she maybe getting wrong expectations about your relationship. So I would say it's very important to have everything clear.
Thank you for your reply.
I don't think I am attracted to her as I feel nothing sexual not romantic towards her. I feel comfortable and I like being there for her, as she says she feels safe and protected with me. She asked me to spend every night with her until she leaves.
However the situation got complicated.
Yesterday we were in her room, sitting on the bed and she confided in me about some problems. Then she started crying and leaned her face on my neck. She took my arm and put it around her shoulders as I listened sympathetically.
Then her mother suddenly walked in her room and started yelling at her, calling her vulgar names (nasty b*tch etc) and asked her to move away. She said no, I'm sad. While I sat there in shock, her mother struck her across the face 3 times with her hand and the TV remote, and pulled her hair hard.
I know that she was sexually abused as a kid by her father's brother, and her father never believed her. He cheats on the mother, tries to control his daughters and beats her. Her mother hits her too.
I felt embarassed and decided to leave. Then the mother spoke to her father about it and called us both "lesbians" and that she called me over to do inappropriate stuff.
I don't understand.
Is this my fault? What should I do?
No it's not your fault. (Why would you think that?)
This family sounds very sick snd since you are not a therapist, don't try to solve their problems.
Your friend is lucky to get away from them by going to school but it's common for abused people to bond to their abuser.
Help her get ready to go to school. But don't let her use you sexually because she is anxious. Encourage her to get counseling while she's away.