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I don't know what to do with my life anymore

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I am 19 years old and Im lost. I am born and raised in a broken home where my dad and mom have been fighting for years. I even had to stop my mom from suiciding many times. I was also diagnosed with keratoconus( an eye disease) when I was 14. There have been some ups and downs, but I tried my best to work through school. I had many pretigious academic prizes in high school and landed myself on a fully funded undergraduate program abroad. Ironically, the day when I was supposed to set off for school, my eyes started to hurt again, and I was hospitalized for months. I missed my scholarship and ended up in staying with my parents where I had to witness their fights getting more and more tense. I cant see my way out of this. I contemplate killing myself everyday...

I don't know what to do with my life anymore

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My heart goes out to you. Is there any other adult you can spend some time with? This stress you are under is not good for your health. Can you talk to the people who offered the scholarship about housing?

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