Lonely in a sexless marriage
I️ am so lost and alone. I️ moved to the U.S to marry my husband. I️ now have a career I’ve worked really hard at, a few friends but really miss my family.
Shortly after I️ married my husband I️ caught him texting a girl he met at a bar behind my back. Then I️ also discovered a few more on his Facebook messenger. We went to counseling, the emotional infidelity stopped. He closed his Facebook account. However, he did not listen or take any of the advice from the counselor on how to make our relationship better or be a good husband to me. About 6 months after we got married the sex stopped and I️ found out he was using porn. He promised to stop, but didn’t. Now I️ have no idea what he’s doing. I️ was finally able to get it out of him one day...said intercourse just didn’t feel good. So that’s been a big blow to me...I’ve felt so awful about myself, age is getting up there so the window for kids is closing yata yata. Knowing my he prefers porn hurts like hell.
Last month he booked a cruise with one of his friends behind my back. He told me about it the day before and said it would help us get closer. Naturally I️ lost my mind...he didn’t go on the cruise. He then booked a trip to New Orleans instead taking his sister. I️ couldn’t go because I️ work, he doesn’t. I️ was really upset and worried but he went anyways. Two weeks later he says he had to use the flight voucher he got from canceling his cruise, so he went to visit his aunt in Florida. Turns out while he was there he turned on his old dating app and was talking to girls, telling him to add him on Snapchat...which I’ve also asked him to delete out of respect...but he hasn’t.
I️ feel so lost, alone, unwanted, confused. I️ want to leave...but where do I️ go? I’ve really started a good business here and have nothing work wise or money wise to move back to Canada for. We live like roommates with zero affection. I’ve stopped trying because you can only take so much rejection.
I’m hurting inside so bad...I️ don’t know what else to say
I don't believe he has a problem with you personally. It sounds as if he's never truly satisfied and that is a problem within him. Not only that but might I suggest that he may be gay? If "sex doesn't feel good to him" regardless of whether he's looking for other women or not....maybe he's not willing to admit to himself that he's gay. I would leave this relationship. You can do better.