PeoplesProblems Logo

Am I expecting too much?

Default profile image
Relationship advice A bit of a long one sorry ,I’ve just got into. New relationship about 3 weeks ago ,I suffer with depression so have avoided a relationship for that reason for a while now .

But the girl I’ve got involved with I met over a year ago ,we’ve been just friends in that time and she understood why I avoided a relationship,but she had always made it clear she cares for me and the feeling became mutual and I fell in love with her
now we are an item it’s like she’s a different person ,we go out for food and drinks I always pay and never get a thanks ,I sent flowers but only knew she received them when I text to ask ,we have limited time together but when we do see each other she can’t leave Facebook alone ,if I text her I can wait forever for a reply as she’s on Facebook she’s had a lot of sexual partners and this bothers me it goes through my mind is she chatting to them on Facebook

I’m really trying not to let my anxiety get hold of me and say something I’ll regret as I genuinely care for her but when I did mention it she kind of brushed it off as me over reacting , am I over reacting ? Expecting too much ?
I’ve got no one else I can really talk to so any advice would be helpful

Am I expecting too much?

Default profile image
I’m glad you trust us enough to share this problem. It is also courageous to position yourself in a relationship with depression as this condition can be very difficult for long term associations. Good for you for trying, though. Love overcomes all, right?

Speaking of love, you have proclaimed your love for her to us, but have you told her? Has she “said” she loves you also? Being that the two of you are only a year into this relationship, it appears by what you say, you are in a strong friendship. Romantic couples are normally “consumed” by each other, thinking of very little else but each other. Every little detail in each other’s life is magnified by the other. Romantic love is an obsession, although temporary. Perhaps you two are in companion love. Companion love is based on admiration and respect with deep feelings of caring for the other. It is probable satisfaction will grow over time in this type of relationship because of the importance of having an intimate confidante. However, companion love normally follows romantic (sexual) love which comes with many pitfalls.

Perhaps this information should lead you to ask yourself (and your girlfriend) why she had so many sexual but temporary partners previously. Could you be another?

You have the courage to get into this relationship, now demonstrate the courage to be honest with yourself and her by asking tough questions. Long term relationships are based on good, honest, solid, communication.

Good luck and keep in touch.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-1