I feel really alone
I dated a guy for over a year and we broke up and it was really hard will call him Benjamin. A few months after we broke up I had a hook up with his best friend he can be Bob. I know that it's really shitty I hooked up with bob and I don't know why I did it. But anyway me and Benjamin ended up getting back together and he wanted me to tell him everything. Every single detail and I just couldn't I wanted to leave it at the fact it just happened but he needed to know he said he needed to know so he wouldn't have to think of all the things that could have happened. But looking at him and trying to tell him with his face showing nothing but hurt, anger, and disappointment I couldn't. So he ended up getting all the information from his ex best friend. Fast forward to now I had to break up with my boyfriend he couldn't let it go and it had been 6 months. He still didn't trust me or respect me because of my mistake and I constantly wondered why he even gave me a second chance because it doesn't feel like he ever did. Now Bob is going around telling people about it and my exs friends assume I'm going to get back with him and continue to harass me and call me easy and a slut. I don't want to feel worthless anymore. My ex thinks nothing of me and has no respect or trust in me at all. I can't get away from him or his friends or the people who have heard the gossip I just want to put it behind me but I guess this is what I get. I don't want to go to school anymore and I just wish everyone would leave me alone and I could have one person who understands that I'm not a slut or a bad person i just messed up and I'm sorry.
Time will heal it all. You broke up for a reason. Honestly people break up not expecting to get gack together. So getting back together is a fresh start. People do stupid things aftwr a break up their mental status is seeking some to want thek even if its for a night that helps with the pain to ease the pain of loseing someone. Everyone does it . Just no one finds put. He banged some one too but he wont tell you. Its natural. People some people dnt twll everything n blame it on others. You dnt need thatm your better off
First of all: do you know anyone who lives a perfect life? You fell in love, it didn’t work out and you made some mistakes along the way… How can you cheat on your x-bf, if you were already broke up? And yet, you apologized which is more than your x-bf or his best friend has done.
I’d encourage you to rest in the knowledge that you are a humble person, taking the blame when others were using you at a emotional time in your life. Forgiving others works better if all sides can let go of past mistakes. Sadly, some people would rather hold on to their hurts/anger/bitterness.
But, I’d challenge you to forgive your x-bf for pressing you for information that he seemed to already know. Forgiving your x-bf-bf for taking advantage of your emotional state of mind. And forgive your x-friends for their judgements and name calling.
Believe this or not: forgiving others will give you peace and allow you to move on… Smile at them when they give you dirty looks, say kind words when they lash out. Bless their day, when they curse yours.
I’m sending you a link to help you get a fresh start in your next adventure! Please send me feedback on how you are doing.
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