I don't know how to handle the situation? I need advice
I need advice.Sorry for the long post, I would really appreciate it if you read it.I don't know how to get out of this situation?I'm writing this post because basically I'm lost.I don't know what to do?I invited my boss's sister to join my all female group with a specific focus.My boss is always complaining that her sister is socially awkward and lost in life so i decided to invite her to join my group.I work there for the past two years but my boss doesn't like me.She seems very uninterested and unimpressed with me.I should also admit I'm scared of her.She basically ignores me in the office and our offices face each other.Twice a week after work I facilitate this all female group with a specific focus.My boss's sister started coming to the group two months ago.She is a 53year old short like 5ft2tall skinny masculine freckled face creepy green eyes thin lips red haired woman . I am a 39year old 5ft10 tall heterosexual curvy hourgllass shaped attractive brunette.I I like dressing well, and looking presentable. I don't dress sl*tty at all. My boobs are 32 f bra size though and I do have a big butt. My hourglass shape is unique and i am tall, and I appreciate that.If you are curvy, tall and busty, many clothes tend to look sexier on you than on a thin person. So things that fit properly that are relatively conservative can be suddenly too revealing and sexy when you put it on. This happens to me a lot.I wear almost always my satin and silk blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a satin skirt or satin pants. I prefer wearing satin pants and a little shorter satin skirts, always above knees, sometimes even quite much, but not any miniskirts anyway. I am always on high heels and full make up on.I am always in tight form fitting satin and silk clothes. I am a stylish person.I usually stay away from anything too revealing.I am describing myself because i want you to know the complexity of the situation.This woman my boss's sister started touching me on her first day at the group.She said that she likes to caress satin fabric and that silk and satin is so smooth to the touch when rubbing.She said that she just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric.She started rubbing my back,touching my hair,wrap her hands around my waist, tight from behind and hugging me (for no reason) while I am busy at various tasks.At one point she asked if she could touch my breasts . I was like, No! Then I said, alright. Then I get a hand extended so I'm like okay here it goes... and she was not shy about just full palm feeling all around and getting a real grab!I think she was a little shy to ask and was suprised when I agreed.LOL! It was no big deal for me.She commented on how soft they feel.Since then this woman my boss's sister who i am not close with is OBSESSED with my boobs so much that every time she sees me.. she just cup and squeeze them over.. and over.. and over. its actually REALLY annoying.For the past two months she have touched my boobs quite a lot.Also she is constantly patting and rubbing my ass.She also always place her hand on my ass when i stand beside her.How can I discourage this woman my boss's sister from touching me/groping me/hugging me/getting in my personal space in a way that makes me uncomfortable without offending her?I know that many women have to deal with worse, and I should just
just "man up", but I am an extremely non-confrontational person, and I usually prefer to endure something uncomfortable than draw attention or displease the other person.Any time I'm even within arm's reach of her, I feel her caressing me.As far as having intimacy with a woman? That's just something that I haven't done and will probably not do so.Im a straight woman never got turned on by a women.Usually when this short skinny ugly ginger geek woman who shouldn't be touching me try to...I just kinda... let her do the touching,rubbing and hugging , but I basically just sit/stand pretty stiffly.She isn't a horrible woman she is really very pleasant but something about her and her need to hug or touch me makes me very uncomfortable.I decided to try tolerating it, since this woman is my boss's sister. It is all my fault.I am physically stronger than her i am 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy.She is like 5ft2 tall skinny.I am always on high heels she is always in flat shoes.Standing next to me she looks like a midget.Now I don't want her to feel badly - but I want this behaviour to stop.What can I say to her, or what can I do so this'll stop?I really don't want to offend her because of my boss.My boss is very protective of her sister.If i report her sister to the police she is going to fire me.I really need this job. I am divorced since november 2013.
I have 11year old daughter. I was married for 8 years.I really need this salary.I work here since december 2015.I don't know what to do? I don't know what to do anymore?I don't know how to handle the situation.
This all sounds ridiculous to me. When this woman asked to touch you the first time. But I should start by pointing out that you said okay when she originally asked to touch you. Why? Anyway, all you have to do is tell her no and that you aren't comfortable with it now.
Something I notice is that you seem to be extremely biased in your opinion of what you think is attractive. This might come as a bit of a newsflash, but tall, curvy and brunette is not necessarily more attractive than any other body type.
Why do you get so defensive about looks with this issue?
If this woman joined your group to try to get help, maybe you should try to help her. She may have a lot of issues, and your criticisms of her shouldn't come before her. It doesn't matter if she is the boss's sister or not.
Come to think of it, have you discussed this with your boss at all, or asked her for details about her sister's issues?
This woman my boss's sister basically has no friends at all.She doesn't understand what kinds of things aren't really okay to do/say in social situations.She thinks that nobody likes her.She never wants to leave the house or socialise with others too long, and has struggled to find enjoyment in anything or have anything 'to look forward to'.My boss is saying that i am an amazing support to her sister.She is saying that her sister has been suffering from anxiety and depression for a number of years now.My boss thinks that her sister is too socially awkward and she wants her sister at the very least to be able to socialize when she has to.You are totally right i let it go to far. I am now not sure what to do at this particular point. I am not sure what I should do.Why would I scream my head off if a man did it but I can’t verbalize a succinct “NO” to this short skinny mature woman.Other nine women my group members already think that i am ok with it.This woman my boss's sister always has her hands on me during the group meetings.My breasts have been grabbed numerous times in jest by her in front of other group members also she always place her hand on my ass when i stand beside her in front of them.My boss is very satisfied that her sister is coming to my group meetings and she is very grateful to me.I really don't know what to do?There is nothing more i can do. Either i take it the way it is, or i just tell her to stop, which of course involves the risk that it messes up everything. And probably it will no matter what i say.She seems harmless to me because I am physically stronger than her I am 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy. She is like 5ft2 tall skinny.Also she doesn't look threatening. She is creepy and ugly but she is tiny, short and skinny mature woman.How do I tell her off without causing tension? She is extremely touchy and feely with me.She does have "power" over me. She can muck things up for me with her sister my boss.I don't know her very well and don't want to push any sensitive buttons.I've got to be careful and handle this gracefully.
Oh, let's get this dealt with soon because you have a child and fellow employees who you need to be a role model to - and this does not look good, at all!
Since when is encouraging public groping and allowing sexual harassment of any benefit to this woman? And other women in the office? She apparently has never been taught boundaries and you let her push them to illegal and predatory limits - by allowing her to use your "beautiful" body in front of your staff.
Is this any kind of a way to "show attention" to this woman?
She sounds like she has social and emotional issues. Is she under psychological care? By allowing her to act this way at work she will think she can act like that in other settings. Please don't allow her around your daughter.
Your boss either set you up or your extreme drive to please (at all costs) has put you into a precarious situation you must get out of now!
Tell your boss you can no longer "babysit" her sister and close the office door. This gal needs to be an a special needs adult setting where she can be monitored and taught social behaviors. You are not qualified to do that.
This is not happening at my workplace.For the past 14 months since september 2016 twice a week after work i facilitate my group that focuses on developing self-awareness, self-confidence and self-efficacy for women with love self esteem to improve their professional and personal lives.The other nine women my group members are not my coworkers.The meetings are held at the community center.You are totally right my extreme drive to please (at all costs) has put me into this precarious situation.Do you really think that my boss somehow set me up?My boss is a very successful local business woman.She has built her company from scratch.Her sister doesn't go to work.She has social anxiety issues.
This is getting worse.Why do i let this pervert woman my boss' sister walk all over me?I am a 39year old woman what is wrong with me. I am a weak spineless person.Why would I scream my head off if a man did it but I can’t verbalize a succinct “NO” to this short skinny mature pervert woman my boss's sister.I just don't know how to go about it. I'm starting to think my boss is jealous and trying to push me out.Her sister is feeling up and squeezing my breasts on every occasion and commenting that they are squishy and big and soft.She keeps touching my breasts any time her hand is near them.Also lately I've been getting alot of slaps or ass rubs from this woman my boss's sister.She is CONSTANTLY slapping it! I cannot bend over in front of her at my group meetings without her slapping or grinding on my ass.Other women my group members think that i am okay with it.Also she is always rubbing and massaging my shoulders and back at my group meetings.I just feel like such a failure.I feel like I am trapped in this situation with this pervert woman my boss's sister and I don’t know how to change it. I just feel hopeless. Why do i let this pervert woman my boss' sister walk all over me?I am physically stronger than her.I am 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy.She is like 5ft2 tall skinny.I am always on high heels she is always in flat shoes.Standing next to me she looks like a midget.This has been eating at me.I feel like a failure.
this is sexual harassment pure and simple. if you file a complaint it will be almost impossible to fire you. you need to stop leading this woman on by consenting to her molesting you freely. she probably thinks you're enjoying her sexual advances. she must have a crush on you by now.
you three need to meet and stop this craziness as soon possible and return to professional behavior norms. this is damaging everyone involved. you should be very ashamed of yourself as should your bosses sister.
Should I feel ashamed of myself?I just found out today I got a promotion and a pretty nice 8% raise.So should I bring this situation with her sister up to my boss? If you guys are in the same situation, what would your mindset be?I don't know what to do?At my group meetings my boss's sister is constantly trying to touch my boobs.When she gives me hugs she tries to bury her head into them.She will just randomly grab them. If she needs comfort she will tell me "I gotta rub your boobs".It's so annoying.I try not to make a fuss over it.Okay, so at first I thought it was just a little phase she was going through and could laugh about it. Now, I'm becoming so frustrated with her. She is CONSTANTLY wanting to touch my breasts.If I just stand there, she would stay there for a long time just feeling them and squishing them or whatever.Also she
will just full on grab my butt.It is super annoying. I'm just standing there, and she'll walk by me and take a swipe at my butt.When I bend down within ten yards of her, she's right there, smacking or rubbing my butt.This short skinny woman is always commenting that i am so tall,big and soft.She tells me often that she likes that i am always dressed up in satin and silk and that she likes touching my clothes.I feel deeply ashamed of myself.I don’t know what to do. I feel like such a bad person.
There is nothing more anyone can say to you until you start seeing this situation for what it is:
You are being used. Your boss now is even paying you more because she knows this behavior is escalating.
By remaining silent and not stopping this VERY inappropriate behavior, you are a part of the problem. Your "audience" in your workshops must be very confused because what you say is not what you do! Do you not believe they are laughing behind your back?
Ask suggested before, have a meeting with your boss, the girl and yourself and stop this very dangerous, illegal and demeaning activity.
My boss is suddenly really nice to me. In the past whenever she had a question she always called me to her office, now she always visits me at my desk. She has been praising me non-stop lately.The other day during a meeting she even declared that I was the company's heroine.What is going on here?I know other women my group members probably laugh at me behind my back because of this situation with my boss's sister.One women said to me that i make stupid faces while my boss's sister is groping me and touching me.She also said that it is bizarre that standing next to my boss's sister i look like i giant and i let her get by with it.I just laughed and replied to this woman that we(my boss's sister and me) just have a weird bond like that.I am towering over other women at my group. I am considered by women at my group to be extremely fashionable, elegant, glamorous, and classy.People always ask me why I’m so dressed up.I always like to dress on my best, because I also feel great when I’m dressed pretty. Once, i’d been to the hairdressers and was off to do a little shopping afterwards and the girl at the salon asked where i was going looking so glamorous – i said i was going shopping and she was like “really? You look so glammed up to be going shopping!” I don’t mind though, i’d rather be wearing something i feel good in than look like i just rolled out of bed.I wear high heels every day too.All the time.Men think I'm super sexy and glamorous. This pervert women my boss's sister is saying to me that because her face is at level with my breasts and I am rather large she finds touching, squeezing, rubbing, and patting them and resting her head on them comforting.She said that she finds great comfort doing this when she's stressed.It is all my fault.She thinks that my breasts are a readily-available source of comfort for her.Also i think she is always grabbing,slapping and rubbing my ass to show dominance over me.It is so annoying.Me being spineless is due to my intense fear of conflict with this short skinny mature woman my boss's sister. I just automatically want to do everything possible to keep conflict down with her and I always sacrifice my dignity for it. I tell myself that "next time" I will say NO to her. Always "next time" but next time never comes. I just continue being the weak spineless person. Am I a bad person?