My ex-boyfriend and I
Let me start by saying, no he did not cheat or fall in love with someone else. We were very much in love with each other, our love was so big it surpassed a lot of bumps in our relationship. Okay, so recently, he has been under a lot of stress with school and work and family, and we weren't able to spend much time together. Recently, a big argument occurred in my house and I went to him and we had an argument because I didn't want to go back home. I got angry and told him I didn't want to love him, but after I calmed down I told him I was sorry and that I do love him and will always love him and he said he loved me too. Three days after he tells me he lost a lot of feelings for me and he didn't know why. Today.. he told me he didn't love me anymore and we broke up. I'm absolutely devastated, but I still believe that we have a chance together. Maybe he just needs some space and a break. I feel like he'll come back. He did just see me tonight and we did have a nice talk like nothing bad happened. But no I love you's or whatever. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions too fast, but should I wait and try to win him back? Or am I just delusional?
We’re going to hang out tomorrow at the dog park and he said he’ll get us food! (My brother too) I’m getting excitingly hopeful we will get back together. I’m scared of getting too hopeful and end up getting hurt..
It appears you have given yourself to this relationship 100% and have weathered many storms together. Very understandable that you end up feeling “absolutely devastated” after a break-up that you did not want. Because you are not ready or willing to walk away, you are left clinging to a belief, a maybe, a hope that things will work out. Not sure where to go with this one, you ask if you should work to win him back, or a face a reality check.
Not one to tell you what to do, but here are my observations and thoughts: (1) you reference some chaos and instability in you home, and now a broken relationship of your own. Can only imaging how unsettling this is, and the importance of needing to feel secure and grounded in someone or something. (2) Sometimes time apart can serve a relationship IF it is a time of self-reflection and personal growth. A lot can be learned about oneself and/or a relationship when a couple take a time out, step back, and reflect on things. (3) What are your needs, and how well were the two of you connected on the five levels/areas of (a) cognitive – sharing ideas, interesting talks; (b) emotional – tuned into your own and the other’s emotional side, ability and comfort in talking about feelings; (c) psychological – who you are as a person/personality, your sense of purpose,
values; (d) physical – the attraction, “chemistry,” comfort and safety with physical touch; and (e) spiritual – a belief in a higher power as a source of guidance and inspiration.
The higher power that I know and speak of is real and personal. Jesus invites us to lean on Him, follow His example. His nature, unlike our own, is always stable and solid, understanding, loving, forgiving.
BTW, which of the five areas above are most important for you in a relationship? …are your strengths in what you bring and offer?... are likely to sustain a relationship over time?