I have been with this man for going on two years. And we just got married and bought a house together. And his baby mama seems to have a problem with it now. I still have not meet her . And when my now husbands goes to his kids events and what not he does not want me to go . The ex is always there and I strongly think that is why. I have told him I am not ok with and I feel like I am being put on the back burner. And I just found out they were friends with benefits before I came along. And He conveniently and remember the last they hooked up? All this is up setting me and I don't know what to do?right now we are sleeping in different bedrooms and looking at separating.
Hi Forever, your situation is very difficult but if that's a problem, of course, there's solution, if not then that's reality. I got this phrase from the post that I have read and I think worth reading for.
"A relationship is a continuing business transaction. There are always the endless marketing promotions or the client loyalty factor to look after."
Please try to read the whole article and hopefully you will pick up some good advice from that article.
You just FOUND OUT? You mean, from someone OTHER than him?...or FROM HIM?...Plus, despite she previously seemed okay with the relationship per se - now that you've made the relationship more recognisably exclusive and committed via making it official, she's all of a sudden begun rearing up and mounting a protest?
Yup, it sounds to me as if, regardless of whether the FWB-ing had ceased in the immediate run-up to you and he, he at best left her believing their arrangement might get reinstated at some point. Left her dangling on a string, in other words. And now she can see the string has been tied off. But probably (like you) isn't all that sure.
One way she'd *become* sure, obviously, would be if she got to meet and talk to you face-to-face. Frankly, since you're not just a girlfriend any more, but his actual (presumably second) wife, I find this deliberate segregation downright ludicrous, not to mention non-befitting and inappropriate...not to mention downright iffy!
Alternatively, let's look at how all of this so-called information is purely and exclusively whatever he's choosing to TELL you. Correct? So the truth of the matter is, she could, unbeknownst to you, be nagging him to meet you, could she not? You wouldn't have a clue if she were, would you.
Still, it still comes back down to - everything you know is purely Hearsay (his).
As for 'can't remember the last time we hooked up': truth is easy to remember. It's lies that are hard to recall. *Fact*.
What else can you tell me about him and how he behaves that discombobulates or downright disturbs, within the frame of reference called Husband?
Reason I ask is...I think I can smell Triangulation (go Google) going on here. He seems just too intent on keeping you and she apart *and* too intent on telling you things that would be bound to be provocative and incendiary, which could all too easily and, you'd think, UNNECESSARILY, backfire onto him....*and yet*...
(I take it you were the one opting to sleep separately from him, rather than the other way around, and because he refuses to address and discuss the issue with you like an adult, and one with nothing to hide?)
So, in conclusion: ...feeding you information that is bound to keep you seriously destablised and feeling under threat, whilst refusing to go into categoric detail. Well!...you'd think if he/she/the situation were altogether innocent at this juncture, he'd want you to KNOW it...wouldn't you? (Curiouser and curiouser, said Alice. It's called Information Management. *Not* something you expect to find in a marriage.)
Any update since your opening post?