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My mum doesn’t want anything to do with me and I can’t accept it

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Children & Young People advice I’m 14 years old and 3 years ago I had a family crisis which was all down to my mum which left the whole family broken.she broke up with my dad and took all his money and left him homeless.a week later,she moved her new boyfriend in with us so I went and lived with my dad and my nans house.i didn’t speak to my mum for a while and she made no effort with me.i started seeing her more often but every time I saw her we had more arguments.i thought that if I left her alone for a while and let her come to me that it might’ve make me feel better but it has been 3 months and she still hadn’t even contacted me. I’ve learnt to accept that that’s the type of person she is and I have to deal with it.ive grown up now and she still has new men who move in with her and my brother and sister every few weeks !!im still living with my dad and very rarely speak to my mum.whenever I don’t talk to her she moans at me but when I do she has ago at me so I can’t win !ive tried talking to my friends about it as it’s hard not having a mum to talk to but they always say ‘it will be okay’.i know for a fact it won’t!whenever I’m at school and my friends start talking about how lovely there mums are I just sit there and it makes me jelous.ive tried so many things over the years to have a relationship with my mum but it just doesn’t work.i just need help with trying to accept that this is my life and there’s nothing i can do to change it.im constantly feeling so low about myself

My mum doesn’t want anything to do with me and I can’t accept it

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Hello,

My simple message from me to you would be, take care of yourself. Drive to your best and don’t settle for anything less than that! Your mental care is just as important as your physical. If you begin to focus on yourself and only yourself, the environment around you will take its place.

Every decision you make is yours. It’s your story. It’s your place on this Earth. Focus on the positive qualities only, and if anyone dares
to bring anything negative into your head space, walk away. It’s your place to decide what is best for you.

I wish you all the best in your future and family,
Spread positivity :)

My mum doesn’t want anything to do with me and I can’t accept it

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Thank you I will try :)

My mum doesn’t want anything to do with me and I can’t accept it

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Fourteen and motherless…Ouch! I understand your frustration and pain, not because I’m in your position, but because I identify with the power of family and especially mother/daughter relationships. There is a reason that most cultures have observed and embraced the family unit. It is the single most important unit on this planet.

It was very mature of you and wise to make a decision to move in with your father at the age of 11. It appears now even more important with your Mom having multiple boyfriends over the years. Good for you! Being sensible doesn’t take away the pain does it? However, I assure you it hasn’t compounded it either.

I’m glad you reached out for some emotional support from us. Do you have anyone else who you can share your thoughts and frustrations with? What are your spiritual convictions? Is there someone or something which is bigger than your situation which you can trust? Sometimes the adults in our life are not the adults in our life (if you know what I mean) and it takes faith in something much bigger to get us through our conflicts. I would sure like to know more of your personal convictions and assurances and maybe we can go from there.

In the mean time, I cannot assure you that things will ever be better with you and your Mom and maybe this is your life. If so, you are not alone. But this much I can assure you. This is not your fault!

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