My husband and the neighbor
RUNNER1307 - Dec 5 2017 at 16:14
I caught my husband and my neighbor sexting. I'm so hurt and don't know what to do. He admitted to sexting, but claims nothing else happen and that he wants to work on things. Thing is I don't believe him completely. My extinct tells me something happened between them. They are so many questions. For one months prior to me catching them. She came to me upset about my husband trying to sleep with her and how she would never do that and she is sorry. She told me I need to leave him. Even offered me to stay with her. I confronted him about it then. He claimed that she was a liar. And that if it was true why would she continue to speak with him. He told me to stay away from her. I believed him because it didn't make sense. I know she drinks alot, has different men in and out of her house and the night she claimed it happened he was home with me. So I stayed clear of her. 2 months after that I caught them sexting. When I approached she said it was a fake profile at first. Then she finally admitted it was her but he was the one sending her inappropriately stuff. Thing is I know she liked because I read all of it. I feel so manipulated and betrayed. I never been so confused. I love him. But something tells me something more Happened because why would she come crying to me 2 months later and be doing that behind my back and why would he call her crazy. I don't know what to do. I feel like staying is stupid when he manipulated me. I don't understand anything.
I understand that you are in a distressful situation and it can be hard to take in advice from others.
My simple message to you is this- focus on yourself. Your happiness is on the line here. If you stay with your husband (in my opinion) you will not live a happy life. Focus on yourself and only yourself, only then will the environment around you fall into place.
If you do not want to completely leave, take some time out. You need to free your head space of negativity that is why everything seems confusing right now.
I wish you and your family the best future x
Spread positivity x
Thank you Sarah for your kind words of encouragement. Yes, it is time for me to focus on myself and move on and be happy.
Your are broken hearted right now and have every reason to question your husband’s motive.
May I ask you how many years you’ve been married, or if you’ve ever had this problem before with your husband flirting with other women?
If this is a first time with flirting/sexting and he says, nothing sexual happened with this neighbor, can you trust him at his word and be willing to forgive the sexting?
In my marriage of many years, I’ve had several female friends who loved my husband. And I’d catch one of these friends saying things that could be taken the wrong way... After a while, I started noticing it was intended to get my husbands attention in a seductive way.
I too talked to my husband and he assured me it was just talk that went too far. But, everytime she made contact, I had to remind my husband she was looking for the wrong kind of attention. When he stopped reacting, she stopped coming around.
My husband is my best friend and I’m so happy we worked it out together.
I’m not sure if you are a person of faith, but I’ll be praying you two can work things out together.
Would your husband be willing to go to a marriage counselor? If so, here’s a link below:
My advice would be that you try to talk with him and ask him clear questions whay he did what he did. You mentioned that this lady drinks so probably she also have some problems going. If your husband replied her it means that something probably is going on. You should first calm yourself and then try to investigate the situation. Try to speak with him and ask him to change his number phone and give you all the passwords because after all you have right to ask him that. You are now hurt and he should do everything to help you, and then concentrate on your marriage. Maybe you should also travel somewhere together and get away from everything and discuss about what happened.
We have been married 12 years and have 3 kids together He finally came to me and admitted everything that happened. This is not my first catching him sexting or flirty because he likes a lot of attention. But the first time it's gotten this deep. They did have sexual relations. He said it only happen one twice and that he was very sorry.
He asked me to stay and go to marriage counseling with him. He said he never meant to do it. He said he was drunk. She started it. He got on his knees and vows to never do it again. He said he loves me and he is really sorry. He blames it on being stress, drinking, and me not paying him enough attention. He told me everythingbeven how she would try to get him to leave me for her and she would constantly get him to try to have more sex with her, but she claimed it was all him. That he was the one pursuing her.
He claims the sexting was nothing serious and neither was the sex. It went on for 3 months though and I had no clue. She would try to befriend me. He claims she is crazy. Also found out she has had this same situation with two other married men. I'm glad he came to me clean about everything, but how can I forgive him for cheating on me with the neighbor. Someone who was around both of us including our kids. Someone he woud talk bad about. How could he be so cool to do it right in my face. The manipulation, the betrayl. I love him so much, but if I can't trust him. He broke my heart in a way I couldn't be broken
Let's state facts:
1. You saw texts from your husband to your neighbor containing sexua/lustful desires of each other's flesh.
2. Your husband gave his private cell phone number to your neighbor.
3. The two of them texted and want to fuck from their texts.
1. Define "cheating"
2. Define "love"
3. Define "trust"
Judge for yourself.