Boyfriend is not financially responsible
I really need advice on whether or not I should continue my relationship with my boyfriend of almost 2 years.
He is 40 years old and has 2 daughters. He has a job that doesn’t pay very well and when we met he had a lot of credit card debt (around $20,000). He then sold the house he lived in with his ex wife and paid a lot of it off but is still spending a lot every month. I don’t know for sure if he is racking up more debt but from what I can estimate he is spending more than he is making.
He buys his kids something pretty much wherever we go with them and uses the excuse that each toy isn’t very expensive. However, this all adds up over time. He has said that he needs to control his spending but he feels guilty about not seeing his kids very often and tries to make up for it by buying them toys.
I don’t have kids and don’t know how it feels to not be able to see them much so I am trying to be understanding. I just worry about our further together. I worry that we will never be able to afford a house together.
He knows I am bothered by how much he spends on them but his guilt takes over and he gives in to what they want. I am trying to give him time to get his spending under control but it seems like it will never happen.
I love him and can’t imagine my life without him but his spending makes me so nervous about a future with him. What should I do? Please help!
This kind of behavior does not get better over time.
You have seen how he is for 2 years.
Hope you are not considering marriage with this guy. You will end up supporting his reckless spending - just at the time he should be in the top earning stage of his life and acquisition of assets.