Advice on controlling mother
hi all! I have been put in a bit of a difficult situation. I have a very controlling/mentally abusive mother. I am currently engaged and have an 8 month old daughter. My mother and fiancé do not get a long. More so because my fiancé does not put up with my mothers controlling ways.
My mother has criticized every aspect of our lives from where we live, our jobs, saying our house isn’t safe for our daughter and recently after telling her that I’m only having one child, she responded that one child “is enough with him”.
I attempted as usually to let it go and extended an invite to go to a Christmas concert at the church I used to attend. She told my fiancé that she wanted to see the both of us at this church, even though it is not a church we belong to or want to belong to. As we were leaving, she has to get one more remark in to my fiancé, who then went off, letting her know he’s tired of her criticizing every aspect of our lives and basically told her to go to hell. She stormed off and told my dad and now I have my dad texting me about it. My dad knows all about the mental abuse I’ve sustained over the years but there is always in excuse about how “that’s just how she is” which to me is enabling. I don’t know what else to do at this point, this why I’m turning to this for advice. Thanks in advance!
Your mother is one unhappy lady. Has she been evaluated for depression? Or dementia?
Never argue with her. When she starts her tirade, just smile and say "I hear your input,Mom." Then change the subject.
In the meantime, it's OK to distance yourself from toxic relationships - even if it's from your mother.
Go to couple's counseling to strenghten your relationship and to know how to deal when storms come up (like unreasonable and toxic people)
My heart goes out to you and your family. You are seeking independence and it sounds like your Mom can’t let go.
A Mom with an only or a youngest child, can be very emotional when they are gone. It’s called the “empty nest” syndrome. But this doesn’t excuse mental abuse.
You sound pretty respectful concerning your Mom, or are you living in fear of continued mental abuse? Your bf seems to come to your offense, and sadly becomes the target.
You mention your Mom invited you to church, so as a family of faith I’m leaving you with a link to help your family with communication.