Should I move across the world for love?
Hello, this is the first time I have ever posted on a forum. I need some clear unbiased advice so thought I would give this a go.
So my boyfriend of nearly 2 years has been offered an amazing scholarship in Australia, to study, then finishing research in Indonesia. This is a fantastic opportunity and not something he can turn down. He’s had a rough few months and this will really turn things round for him. I am 27 and he is 38. We both live in London (separately). He has been studying and working towards this type of opportunity for 8 years, so the possibility of him having to uproot had always been on the cards. He’s lived between the UK and Asia on and off before I met him.
So obviously my dilemma is do I go with him or do I stay in London? He either wants me to go with him, or he wants to make it work between us by visiting each other when we can, if I decide to stay here. He said he doesn’t want to lose me. But I am certainly not keen on the thought of such a long distance relationship, the scheme is 3 years long.
We are so in love with each other, and we both want a future together, and children. I can’t imagine my life here in London without him. I have a good job, but it’s something I can take anywhere, but I am just scared about leaving everything behind including my family. They don’t have much money to be able to visit.
I am also worried that because I will be following him for his dream, I could maybe start to feel a bit lonely and isolated, and not have my own life. I honestly think that he is the one for me, I was in a relationship with someone for 9 years before, and thought i was in love, not like this, we complete each other. This could be a great way to have an adventure and new start with the love of my life? If I don’t go will I be regretting it for the rest of my life?
Thanks in advance for your comments!
You didn't mention if he asked - really begged - you to go with him. It sounds like you have done all the thinking about how this can happen. What is his input?
You two are not kids. What is his commitment for a future together? Had this been discussed? .
(If it were me, I'd give him 6 months to make arrangements for me to come there. If he can't do that, then I would know that I should not uproot my life to fit his)
I am quite impressed by the way you speak about your boyfriend’s opportunities. These are true examples of unconditional love. It’s refreshing to see this in today’s world. Only you know your heart. You have to think about these questions: would I be miserable without him? Would I be able to keep up a long-distance relationship? Would I be able to find something for myself to do if I go with him? You also have to consider your living arrangements – would they change? No one really has the right answer, except you. I cannot tell you what to do because I don’t know your heart. How deep is your love for him? My husband went back to school when our children were all in grade school. We followed him to 3 different states. I don’t regret it, even though it wasn’t easy. I would also suggest that if you are a praying woman that you ask God what he has in store for you. I’m a praying woman and I will pray that you find the right answer.