Hi there I've joined as I would like some advice and perspective please.
I started dating a guy 14 months ago , he was a year out of a relationship where the women left him.
I noticed that he still was acting like they were together still and she was constantly contacting him and going away with her new partner shenleft him for a leaving the children with him all the time.
At first I dident get the picture... but 14 months down the road it's been revealed that she emotionally abused him... she still does and has control over him still
I'm finding it more difficult as time goes on to watch it happening and it has left me feeling like I'm in a relationship and I'm the odd one out.
He now lives with me and I just do not know what to do.
Not only did she leave him she wants everything the house the business ... myself and his family have finally urged him to see a lawyer to get it sorted as she has just been stalling giving him anything.
He did this then two days later told me he was feeling uneasy about doing it as it's not his way... he's such a lovely kind guy. But it seems like his biggest strength is also his biggest downfall
I feel like I'm gonna be forever like the 3rd party as there are children involved and they are the trump card ... I realise life is short and just want it to be peaceful and happy.
Any thoughts would be greatfully accepted.
You can't lose what was never yours.
I think it’s great that you are seeking advice from people who are not emotionally attached to this situation. Relationships tend to be the hardest thing to figure out in life. They make us who we are, but they can also break us. It’s good that you are willing to stick with him and help him through this time. I will also say that there may come a time when you should end this relationship. There must be some kind of legal attachment between your guy and his ex since a lawyer needs to be involved. Maybe you or someone in his family that he gets along with well could go to the lawyer with him to make sure he tells the whole truth about this past relationship. I’m not sure whose children are involved. If the kids are his and the ex’s, he needs to support them emotionally and financially. I’m not sure I was much help, but I will pray for you and your situation. May your life be filled with peace and joy!